Horseshoes & Hand Grenades
by SomeoneElsesDream
Summary: There are no answers, only choices, and no one can tell you if they are right or wrong until they have been made. xxR&R for cookies!xx
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

**Author:** SomeoneElsesDream  
**Rating: **NC-17 for violence, coarse language, blood, guts, debauchery, and death

**Author's Note:** Jake is played by Ryan Reynolds...think Blade 3...yeah...like that.

**Disclaimer:** All Iown is debt...you can take that anytime you like. The Matrix concepts and theories are entirely not mine...but they fascinate the heck out of me and they inspired me so I used them a bit.

**Summary:** Free will, it's a bitch.

XXXXX

"_Almost only counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades" - Author Unknown_

XXXXX

**Horseshoes & Hand Grenades**

**Chapter One**

**The Call**

**Opportunity, Montana**

**Early 2007**

"Don't worry Ellen, we're on this." Sam's voice was calm and reassuring, while his mind worked a mile a minute "We'll get her back for you."

Just as he closed his cell phone, frowning at it in his hand, the bathroom door opened and Dean poked his head into the room.

"Was that the phone?"

"Yeah"

"A job?"

"Yeah"

Dean was puzzled by Sam's monotone voice. Lately Sam seemed to enjoy jobs more than Dean, seemed to go looking for them in the strangest places too. Dean moved over to the bed across from Sam, getting his brother's full attention.

"So what's the deal?"

"It's Jo, she's missing."

"I thought Ellen said Jo wasn't keeping in touch much these days?"

"Apparently they made a deal about calling once a week"

"Smart" Dean nodded

"Yeah, but Jo hasn't called in two weeks and Ellen is freaking out" Sam motioned to the phone still in his fist

"So what do we know?"

"Ash is going to e-mail us all the information they have."

"Ah, Ash." Dean smiled, trying to lighten the mood "I like him"

"Two weeks is an awfully long time to be missing." Sam was not going to be moved. This was serious.

"We don't know she's been gone that long" Dean said calmly, "Hell, we don't even know she's gone for sure."

"But…" Sam trailed off as he checked his e-mail. "Looks like the last place anyone heard from her was Las Cruces, New Mexico."

"Credit card trail?"

"Dude, Ash checked. Everything stops in Las Cruces twelve days ago."

"Alright so let's get a move on Sammy boy." Dean was up and packing before Sam had even finished reading the e-mail.

"Hey wait" Sam's face scrunched in confusion "Says here we need to stop in Denver and pick up some people."

"Pick up people?" Dean's voice was incredulous "Ellen wants me to put strange people in my car?"

"Says they're going to help and that if we want to find Jo we're going to need them."

"Well if they can find her what the hell did she call us for?"

"I have no idea." Sam was just as baffled as his brother; Ellen didn't seem the 'asking for help' type in the first place, but to have asked from two separate sources? This was bad.

**Meanwhile…**

**Denver, Colorado**

**Early 2007**

"I hate her" Ali hadn't stopped pacing since the call; she alternated between throwing clothes in her duffel and insults at her partner.

"You've said that already…twice" Jake lounged on the bed, keeping a wary eye on the raving lunatic he was unfortunate enough to be stuck with.

"Well it's true" she pouted, gesturing with a t-shirt to make her point

"So what do we know about the back-up she's sending us?" Jake tried not to roll his eyes as he changed the subject, but it took effort.

Unfortunately his tactic backfired, sending her into a full-blown tirade. With her stomping around the room and gesturing madly, it was all he could do to stay out of firing range.

"That's another thing" she fumed "Who the hell does she think she is calling me for help and then sending some strangers like we need back-up?"

"New Mexico is a big state, and she could be anywhere by now"

"Don't…" she spat, suddenly deflated "Don't placate me, I know I'm being a bitch."

"You're really worried about her aren't you?" Jake sat up against the headboard

"I shouldn't be." Ali flopped lifelessly beside him, leaning her head against his broad shoulder for a moment.

"You're allowed to worry Ali" Jake ran a soothing hand along her spine "It's alright to care you know"

Ali sighed, pushing away from the easy comfort Jake offered. It was a constant temptation, the thought of giving in to comfort, allowing herself to feel…human, if only for a moment. Then reality would come seeping back in, and she would remember why she was here, and that the job was far from over.

"Did she say how long they would be?"

"Ellen's never been one for the details Ali, you know that." Jake rose to help with the last of the packing.

"Well how are we supposed to meet up with these people?"

"We have a cell number for a guy named Sam."

"So?"

"What?"

"Call him." she ground out between her teeth, throwing her hands up. Sometimes it was like dealing with a child.

Jake rolled his eyes as he reached for his phone and the receipt he wrote the number on. Whoever their back-up was, he hoped they were up for the task or Ali was going to tear them apart. The phone rang four times before a voice answered.

"Hello?" the voice sounded weary

"Sam?"

"Yeah" now there was genuine confusion in Sam's voice

"I'm Jake," he tried to explain "Ellen said she was gonna call you?"

"Oh, yeah."

"So we were wondering if you know about when you'll be getting to the city."

"Hang on"

Jake could hear a muffled conversation and the crinkling of what he assumed to be a map.

"We're just coming up on Buffalo, and I think we're gonna stop here for food and gas."

"Buffalo? Where the hell are you guys coming from?" Jake was baffled, Buffalo was days away and this case was getting colder by the minute.

"Oh" Sam instantly understood the confusion "It's Buffalo Wyoming, and we're fresh from Opportunity Montana."

"What the heck is in Opportunity Montana?"

"Well nothing interesting now"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

Just as Jake was about to answer, Ali let her impatience get the best of her. It was hard enough to follow one side of a conversation, but to listen to these two idiot's bond over their mutual idiocy was too much for her already frazzled nerves.

"How long?" she all but barked into the phone, neatly startling Sam

"Um, hello"

"Hi. How long?"

"As I was about to tell Jake, it's about another four, maybe four and a half hours before we reach you."

"Oh. Well then I guess I'll keep the room for another night."

"Probably for the best. Las Cruces is another seven hundred miles from Denver."

"Six hundred and seventy-four"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"So I'm Sam by the way"

"Ali"

"Pleased to meet you Ali"

"Pleasure I'm sure"

"Is this number good to call?"

"Yeah"

"We'll let you know when we hit the city limits so you can tell us how to get to where you're staying."

"Don't bother. Take the second exit for Denver, first motel on the right…I think it's the Sleepy something or other, room 13."

"Good enough. We'll call if we get lost then."

"Alright"

"Bye"

"Bye"

Ali flipped the phone shut with an irritated flick of the wrist. The thought of sitting around for another four hours made her skin crawl.

"Jake?" she called, seeing that he had retreated for a shower

"Yeah" came his muffled reply

"I'm going for a run. They're gonna be four hours plus"

"Alright"

XXXXX

As her long legs ate up the sidewalk and the chilly Colorado air hissed into her lungs, Ali had seldom felt so alive. There was something about running that made her feel...human. There were few cars on the road on this late morning, and fewer pedestrians, so her commune with the world was largely solitary, which was just how she liked it. As the crisp breeze blew her hair around her face she thought about Ellen. It was almost eight years since they had seen each other, and they parted on the same terms they often lived on. Harsh. If Ellen was calling for help now, for Jo of all people, it was bad...really bad.

Turning down a shaded road, Ali turned her thoughts as easily as her body. Who were these young men Ellen was sending along? Hunters for certain, and probably familiar with Jo, but that described a lot of unsavory people from that damn roadhouse. The Roadhouse. For more than ten years it had been her home, or at least it was the closest thing she ever had to a home. What do they say about home? It's the place that, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. Well Ellen never felt the need or desire to do any such thing, though there were times over the years that she should have.

Ali shook her head as she turned back towards the motel. These thoughts were getting her nowhere. What she needed to focus on was Jo. That girl had always been a magnet for trouble, seems it's not something she managed to outgrow. From what little they managed to get from Ellen, she had been on a hunt and gone off grid almost two weeks ago. Shit. Anything can happen in a day, let alone two weeks. The first order of business was going to be figuring out what Jo had been hunting. The rest would have to wait.

XXXXX

**Meanwhile...**

"Bye" Sam stared at the phone in his hand, still trying to figure out what the heck just happened.

"Sam?" Dean glanced over at his brother, having heard one side of the conversation he was intrigued

"Yeah"

"What was that?"

"That was Ali"

"Ali?" Dean made it a question, not knowing what Sam meant

"Yeah. Jake and Ali"

"So what do you think?"

"I think this job just got a lot more complicated."

"Why?"

"Ali's a chick"

"Dude" Dean grinned

"I think she'd eat you for breakfast man" Sam smiled "But good luck with that"

"I love ballsy women" Dean sighed

"Yeah I know"

As they entered Buffalo, Wyoming, Dean immediately pulled into the first gas station. While he was refueling and checking all his baby's fluid levels, Sam ran inside to get the necessary provisions. This was probably the last stop they were going to be getting until they reached Denver, time was too essential for them to waste, so Sam made sure to get all the Winchester food groups. This meant chips, chocolate, candy, and gallons of pop. Dean really preferred coffee, but it never stayed warm long.

While Sam paid for everything, with a fake credit card of course, Dean let his thoughts drift to Jo. Once, he thought there might have been a moment between them, but now he found it hard to think of her as anything more than a slightly bratty little sister. Something about her just grated him the wrong way. Jo was a trouble magnet, living with Sam for more than twenty years taught him to recognize the signs quickly, and the last thing he needed was another one of those to look after.

XXXXX

Once they were back on the road, Zeppelin blaring from open windows, Sam pulled out the map.

"We need to get to Denver as fast as we can" he murmured to himself

"That's why I'm driving" Dean quipped

"I'm laughing on the inside" Sam deadpanned

"So what do you suggest oh map questy one"

"Drive faster" was his only response.

Dean never hesitated, if Sam said they needed to go faster, then by god he would go faster. Glancing quickly at his brother, Dean was disturbed by the dark circles under Sam's eyes. They hadn't been there before, Dean would have noticed, he was a big brother, it was his job to notice. When he glanced again, the circles were gone.

Ever since that morning when Ellen's call woke him, Sam hadn't been able to shake the feeling that something more was going on. He wished he could put his finger on what bothered him, but it was like it was there, just beyond his reach.

XXXXX

It was just coming up on mid-afternoon when the Impala pulled into the parking lot of the Sleep Easy Motel. While Dean was getting them registered, Sam went to meet their new partners. Knocking on the door, Sam could swear he heard a baby crying, just for a moment, then it was gone.

The door whipped open revealing a rather strangely intimidating man. He looked to be a little shorter than Sam, though not by much; same haircut as Dean, but his eyes were a haunting amber brown. He was built though; Sam made a mental note not to challenge this guy to arm wrestle.

"Jake?" he wished his voice hadn't sounded so timid just then

"Yeah" Jake replied running a hand brusquely through his hair "Sam?"

"Yeah"

"Come in" Jake held the door open in invitation, frowning when Sam hesitated, wanting to wait for Dean "I promise not to let her bite"

"Huh?" Sam snapped his attention back to Jake just as Dean strolled around the corner

"Close your mouth Francis, you'll catch flies" ducking under his brother's arm, Dean strolled into the room like he owned the place. "I'm Dean" he offered Jake his hand

"Jake"

"Who bites?" Dean questioned, noting the salt at the door and windows, these guys were professionals. Good.

"What?" Jake asked, clearly not following

"You said you wouldn't let her bite" Dean clarified, sitting down at the little table "Who is 'she'"

"She's…"

Jake's answer was cut off by a sudden scream from the bathroom. He went pale instantly before he sprung into action. He banged twice on the door before shoving it open. Steam bellowed out into the room, the damp heat making Sam feel momentarily claustrophobic. Jake came out of the bathroom carrying Ali in his arms, towel hastily draped around her. He set her on the bed gently, and the Winchesters could see that she seemed to be having some kind of seizure. Her breath came in harsh pants, and she seemed to convulse as though she was restrained.

"Get the lights" he barked at Sam, who immediately moved to obey

"What can I do?" Dean asked, doing a visual assessment as he spoke

"Nothing" Jake sighed, "No one can do anything until it passes"

"What is it?" Sam asked softly

"A vision" Jake replied just as soft, reaching to take her pulse

"I get visions too, but never like this"

"No one gets visions like this." Jake didn't even flinch when her flailing arm caught him in the face

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, suddenly afraid for his brother

"Most psychics who experience this kind of vision don't survive."

Jake looked at his watch, it had been almost two minutes. He gestured for the small shaving kit on the nightstand; Dean passed it over without a word. Jake pulled out a syringe and vial, prepping the injection. It had never gone this long before. Three minutes was the longest her body could handle without risking true death. Three minutes.

Just as Jake finished prepping the shot Ali convulsed, gasping for a moment, and died. Jake didn't say a word; he just reached over, took her pulse, and sighed. While Sam and Dean looked on in growing horror, Jake continued to do nothing. He just stared at her, long fingers curling around her wrist.

"Jake" Sam whispered softly

"Shhh. Just wait"

"Wait?" Dean was getting agitated "Screw that"

Dean pushed Jake roughly off the bed, and as he was about to begin C.P.R. Ali sat upright with a gasp. She screamed when she saw Dean, a stranger, so close to her, but she calmed when Jake crawled back onto the bed. Dean hit the floor with a thud, legs no longer working to support him. He had seem some strange shit in his life, but this was a new level of freaky. Jake had pulled Ali into his lap, soothing her as she cried into his chest. Soon enough she calmed, pushing her sopping hair out of her face.

"Oh God" she muttered, shifting away from Jake while trying to keep herself covered with the towel

"What?" Jake asked, standing to give her space

"Please tell me that strange men didn't see me naked."

Dean burst out laughing; he leaned against the bed and howled. Sam tried not to laugh, he really did, but the deep belly laugh from his brother was contagious.

"What?" Ali asked "What's funny?"

"You" Dean panted, trying to get himself under control "You died…and you're worried because we saw you naked?"

"You saw me naked?" she shrieked, jumping off the bed and running for the bathroom.

She got about two steps before she landed on her butt. Jake moved to help her up and she looked at him like she would chew his arm off before she'd take the hand. Muttering to herself about the general pissy nature of the universe, Ali managed to crawl to the bathroom. No sooner had the door shut behind her when she whipped it back open.

"I'm gonna need the kit" she held her hand out expectantly

"How bad is it?" Jake asked, withholding the kit until she answered

Ali rolled her eyes "Remember the Rakshasa?"

"Yeah"

"Worse" she lunged forward and snatched the first air kit from his hands. "Don't worry, I'll scream if I need you."

"That's what worries me" he muttered as she closed the door on his face

Sighing, Jake turned to face his baffled companions. Sam and Dean were sitting side by side on the bed, both staring at the bathroom door, both thinking about the crazy woman banging around behind it.

"What were you going to give her?" Sam asked, gesturing to the kit on the nightstand

"Adrenaline"

"You were going to shoot her up with straight adrenaline?" Dean sputtered "Are you nuts?"

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" Jake demanded, pacing in his agitation "Three minutes"

"Three minutes?" Sam placed a warning hand on Dean's arm, they did not need to antagonize the situation.

"The vision and the…death were almost three minutes." Jake hesitated "Three minutes is the maximum her body can withstand without risking true death."

"Oh." Suddenly Dean could understand, hell he even sympathized.

"True death?" Sam asked, wanting to understand more about this strange visionary

"When Ali 'dies' in her visions she is just experiencing the death of whoever she is having the vision about" Jake explained "It's real to her body, but part of her mind remembers that it isn't real so she comes back."

"So if she's in the vision for more than three minutes…" Sam trailed off

"The body can't live without the mind Sam" Jake sighed

The bathroom door cracked open and Ali poked her head into the room.

"Jake?" she asked, fidgeting in the doorway "I need your help"

"Yeah, of course" Jake moved to join her in the bathroom, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"We're going to need the bed, I have to lie down."

As Ali hobbled her way to the bed wearing only a pair of short shorts and a camisole, she caught Sam eyeing a rather impressive bruise on her hip.

"Don't worry Cowboy, I've been hurt a lot worse for people I love a lot less."

"Cowboy?" Sam questioned

"You always wanted to be a cowboy when you were little Sammy." Ali smiled as she lowered herself onto the bed. Flinching a little, she moved to lay on her stomach.

"What did I want to be?" Dean asked perversely

"A fireman" she replied

"How could you possibly know that?" Dean murmured

"Asks the guy who just saw me come back from the dead" Ali quipped "Man you really need to get your freak standards checked Dean."

As Dean opened his mouth to speak again he was brought up short by the sight of impressive deep tissue bruising spreading slowly across Ali's torso. It was like watching a flower bloom, you could tell it was happening, you just couldn't see it. There were some angry welts developing at her wrists and ankles as well, rope burns. Ali moaned into the pillow under her head as Jake raised the back of her shirt to inspect the damage. It looked like a mild electrical burn, like what you would get from a tazzer, but larger, spread out over most of her back.

Jake hissed sympathetically, but skeptically "I don't think we've got anything in the kit that can handle this one love"

"No hospitals" Ali shook her head

"Ali…"

"How the hell would I explain to them that I have electrical burns, with no source and no residual energy output?" Ali wasn't angry, not really, she was tired. "You know why I can't go to the hospital Jake."

"Yeah"

"Sam?" Ali looked over her shoulder just in time to catch Sam looking a little sick over the condition of her back. "Don't worry honey I'll be right as rain in a day or two."

"Doesn't it hurt?" he asked, immediately wanting to smack himself, of course it hurt

"No doofus, it tickles." Ali deadpanned. "Can you do me a favor Sam?"

"I'm not a doofus, and yeah, sure."

"In the largest green duffle there is a little pink duffle."

"Pink?" Dean snorted

"Dude, shut up." She rolled her eyes, "and in the duffle is a pretty blue mason jar. Jake is going to need the jar."

Sam rummaged through the pink duffle until he found the jar. It was a medium size mason jar painted dark blue with some symbols etched into the lid. It weighed almost nothing, but it felt full of something heavy. When he handed the jar to Jake he noticed the other man's hesitation in reaching for it. As Jake opened the lid he gave Ali one last chance to change her mind.

"Are you sure you want to use this stuff?"

"There's pain you can live with and pain you can work with…this is neither of those things."

"There's no taking it back"

"Just do it."

Jake tipped the jar over the worst of Ali's back and a thick liquid poured out. It had a texture like honey, but it smelled like wildflowers. Ali gasped as it came into contact with her skin, face going pale as if she were in pain. The liquid seeped over her gently coating the burns and nothing else.

"What the hell is that?" Dean demanded, a bit freaked out about magical paste

"It's a potion" Jake replied, screwing the lid back on the jar

"What does it do?" Sam asked leaning in to get a closer look at Ali's back

"It takes away pain" Jake answered, moving to wash his hands "But like with most things, it comes with a cost."

"What cost?" Dean asked, suddenly more curious himself

"I won't be able to feel any pain for a few days" Ali said, pulling her shirt back down

"That's it?" Sam was incredulous, where the heck could they get some of that magical goo?

"No pain means that I could trip and break my leg and not notice."

"Not notice?"

"Well if I did it right now I would probably notice, but in the heat of battle? In a fight for my life?" Ali shook her head "You could gut me and I wouldn't even flinch."

"But you only put it on your back" Sam noticed

"I don't want to risk losing feeling on the rest of my body, but generally you take a spoonful internally to take care of everything."

Ali stood, wavering as the room tilted at an alarming angle for a moment. Sam reached out to steady her and they both flinched as a psychic connection was made. For a moment they could see inside each other, see the truest parts of each other, and it was scary as hell.

XXXXX

It was still hours before dawn when Dean knocked at the door. Although he was by no means a morning person, he knew time was against them. It took less than fifteen minutes and they were on the road.

Metallica was turned on low, Dean tapping the steering wheel with the bass, Jake singing along softly in the back seat with Ali half asleep on his shoulder. Sam poured over the map again, trying to find a faster route to Las Cruces, sighing when he came up with nothing.

"Jo!" Ali sat up so suddenly that, if not for Dean's quick reflexes, they might have ended up in the ditch.

While Ali struggled to catch her breath, Dean pulled the car off on the shoulder.

"What did you see?" Jake asked softly, running his hand soothingly down her back

"Is Jo alright?" Sam's voice was tentative

"There's a warehouse" Ali started, "At least I'm pretty sure it was a warehouse"

"Do you know what took her?" Dean asked, grabbing John's journal

"Vampires."

"Are they bleeding her yet?" Jake asked, still rubbing her back

"Yes" Ali whispered, wrapping her arms around herself

"Jesus" Sam breathed, closing his eyes

Dean didn't wait, he put the car in gear and merged back onto the highway. Time was definitely against them.

XXXXX

**Las Cruces, New Mexico**

**Six Hours Later**

"Does anything look familiar?" Dean asked, looking at Ali in the rearview mirror

"Not yet." She shook her head, "Head for the industrial end of town"

"Why start there?" Sam asked

"I saw a warehouse with distinctive windows, I'll know it if I see it again."

"Industrial division it is."

A couple of dead ends later and the frustration was rising.

"I thought you said you would know it when you saw it" Sam said angrily, turning in his seat to glare at Ali

"I will, I just haven't seen it yet." She replied, tone matching his.

"Look guys, this isn't helping" Dean said with a false calm "We need to..."

"There!" Ali pointed to a building on the left "That's what I saw in my vision"

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, already pulling the Impala into a tight turn

"Positive."

They parked at a building a few blocks over, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to themselves. Dean opened the trunk and started loading himself and Sam with all the weapons they could carry. When Ali leaned over him to grab a sawed off shotgun, Dean gave her the look.

"You're not coming with us." His voice was firm as he reached out to take the gun from her

"The hell I'm not" Ali replied, jerking back

"You're a liability Ali, I can't watch your back and get Jo" Dean used his best cajoling voice

"I've been training since I was twelve, hunting since I was fifteen. Knives, guns, small sword, you name it, and I can fight with it. Nothing scares me and I'm not afraid to die. I'm coming with you."

There was nothing Dean could say to that, the argument was finished.

As they crept down the alleyway, guns at the ready, they moved with the fluid grace of a well trained unit. There was no need for communication, they were so in-tune with one another. Dean picked the lock, wincing when the door opened with a muted squeal. They slipped in quickly, each taking a section and fanning out. Thankfully the vampires were sleeping for the day, it was only a matter of finding where they were keeping Jo and getting the hell out of dodge.

Easier said than done.

Jo was tied to a small cot in the dark corner of the room, a dark stain of drying blood down her side. Her normally pale face drawn tight with pain not even sleep could erase.

Dean eased forward, shifting past a vampire asleep on guard duty. Reaching out he pressed his hand over her mouth. Jo's eyes flew open in panic before she realized who he was. He motioned her to silence as he pulled out his knife and set to work on her bindings. Once free, Jo threw her arms around Dean, holding him tightly for a moment while she shook.

"Can you walk?" he whispered, looking around for the others

"I think so" she replied uncertainly

Dean hooked her arm over his shoulder and together they moved towards the exit. They were no more than half way there when all hell broke loose. Something had woken the sleeping vampires and they were not happy to be losing their new toy. Dean braced Jo against his side before leveling his gun at the nearest bloodsucker and opening fire. Sam used his machete to cut a path for himself and Ali. Jake was already at the door holding it open and preventing any of the vampires from escaping.

A vampire circled around, coming at Sam from behind while he cut down another.

"Sam!" Dean shouted, too far away to help "Behind you!"

Sam turned, but it was too late. The vampire had him in a choke hold before anyone could blink.

Dean handed Jo over to Jake and moved toward his brother.

"Not one more step Winchester" the creature hissed "I will kill him"

Dean faltered, Ali didn't. In a smooth motion she drew a 9 mil from the small of her back and fired in a single motion. The bullet bit into Sam's shoulder and drew a surprised moan from the hunter.

"Silly girl, you have killed him" the vampire hissed "I will bleed him dry for this"

To his credit, Sam didn't flinch as he felt the stinging bite of fangs. Dean was terrified enough for the both of them. Ali stood still, passively waiting. Suddenly the vampire drew back from Sam with a scream that shattered the windows and left the hunters cowering. A black rot was spreading from the vampire's mouth, his eyes were fading. In less than a minute, it was dead.

"What the fuck was that?" Dean yelled, shoving past Ali to grab his brother "You could have killed him!"

"Dean" Sam said weakly, falling to his knees "Let's just get out of here."

Slinging Sam into a fireman's carry, Dean hauled ass for the door, leaving Ali to follow. Jake had taken Jo to the car and was patching her up as best he could. Leaning Sam against the trunk, Dean turned his fury on Ali.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he demanded, "Shooting at a vampire with Sam so close?"

"I..." Ali began

"And your aim sucks" Dean interrupted "I'm gonna have to dig the bullet out of him myself you know"

"First, I was aiming for Sam" Ali held up a hand, leaving Dean sputtering "and second, I'll take care of Sam."

"Take care of Sam?" Dean was incredulous, "You shot him!"

"I saved his life"

"You risked his life!"

"You put his life at risk everyday!"

"I take care of him!"

"Banner job of that Dean, cause he looks great right now!"

"You shot him!"

The two hunters were almost nose to nose, shouting into each other's faces. Jake looked on in amusement as he gently placed Jo in the front seat.

"Guys" he tried, but neither of them listened

"Guys!" he bellowed, startling them out of their argument "We have to go, now."

Ali gently helped Sam off the trunk, and with Jake's help she got him into the back seat. Ali and Jake worked quickly, pressing gauze to the still bleeding wound. Sam moaned at the pressure, but managed to remain conscious.

"Does he need a hospital?" Dean asked, meeting Jake's eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know" Jake murmured, "Ali?"

"He'll be just fine" she replied, concentrating on keeping pressure on the wound as Dean made a wide turn.

"What the hell do you know?" Dean demanded

"I took paramedic training." she said "I would say I know a lot more than you."

It wasn't long before they pulled up to a motel, Dean running inside to get them a room. Ali and Jake got Sam inside, leaving Dean to help Jo.

"I didn't think she's come" Jo whispered, still half out of it

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, shifting her weight in his arms "You two know each other?"

"She's my sister"

XXXXX

**Author's Note:** Confused yet? Me too. The plot bunnies ran away with my brain. As soon as they bring it back I'll have the next chapter up for you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Horseshoes & Hand Grenades**

**Chapter Two**

**Family Portrait**

XXXXX

Ali had already set up a first aid station for Sam when Dean came in, her hands were steady as she peeled his blood-soaked t-shirt off and shoved it into a garbage bag at her side. Dean set Jo down gently on the other bed and moved to inspect his brother's wound for himself. It was a rather clean shot, right into the flesh of his shoulder, neatly missing anything vital.

"Not too bad there little brother?" He asked, seeing Sam pale as Ali probed for the bullet with tweezers.

"Peachy keen" Sam hissed through clenched teeth

"First rule of lying Sammy, look like you mean it." Dean smiled weakly, trying for levity and failing.

"Whoever said suffering builds character should be dragged in the street and shot." Sam moaned "Who the hell needs character anyway?"

"I agree, little brother, I agree."

"There!" Ali lifted the bullet triumphantly "Got it."

"Oh good" Sam murmured before mercifully passing out

Dean grabbed Sam's wrist, taking a deep breath when he felt the steady pulse under his fingers. Ali pulled out a suture kit and began closing the wound.

"So are you going to tell me why you shot my brother?" Dean asked, watching Ali place the last stitches

"The bullets are special made with a combination of high content silver alloy and lead, and then they are blessed by a priest and dipped in holy water."

"Wouldn't that have worked on the vampire by itself?"

"Not necessarily, but I knew it would work on Sam." Ali busied herself with stuffing all the bloody gauze and gloves in the garbage bag, stubbornly refusing to meet Dean's penetrating gaze.

"So you just decided to shoot him, a great plan that turned out to be."

"Plans are pointless, staying alive is what matters."

Just as the two hunters were about to come to blows, Jake decided he'd had enough.

"Allison!" he barked

"What?" she snapped back

"Come take a look at Jo, she needs help."

"Tell me something I didn't already know." Ali muttered, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves

"Hey" Jo whispered "Be nice"

"Sorry darlin' I'm fresh outta nice" Ali replied, turning to the other bed. "Well it looks like you've seen better days."

"Just a bit, yeah."

"How'd they catch you?" Ali started swabbing bite marks on Jo's collarbone and at her waist with holy water.

"I was playing bait"

"You were what?" Ali went from gentle to pissed in two seconds "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that it had to be done!"

"You never let yourself be bait unless you trust your backup"

"I know the rules Ali"

"So where the hell is your backup?"

"I…"

"That's right, you went in blind and you got caught." Ali shook her head before resuming her task "I thought you knew better."

"We couldn't all have John Winchester as a mentor."

"Don't you dare bring John into this" Ali's voice was cold, menacing "You don't have the right."

Ali snapped off the gloves she was using, the motion betraying her tight anger.

"It's a simple patch-up job Jake, you can take care of it."

"Where are you going?" Jake asked, already working gently on the rope burn at Jo's wrists

"Away. I'll call Ellen while I'm at it."

XXXXX

Dean only hesitated for a moment before following Ali out the door. He caught up with her just as she circled the side of the building.

"So when were you going to tell me you knew my dad?" he matched his pace to hers

"Didn't see how it was much of your business."

"And the fact that Jo is your sister?" his voice was snide "That just slipped your mind too?"

"For the record, Jo is my half-sister" Ali glared at him "and my family isn't any business of yours."

When Dean just stopped walking, Ali turned to face him, sympathy and understanding on her face.

"Dean, if you came out here for answers you're talking to the wrong girl." Ali sighed, "I only have secrets."

"I know all about secrets"

"Not like this you don't." Her voice was soft, her eyes haunted

"I should get back in, don't forget to call Ellen." Dean reached out, hesitating before he touched her shoulder.

"You should get back to Sam." Ali murmured, stepping away from his hand.

"Are you going to be alright?" Dean stuffed his hands in his pockets, confused by the tumble of emotions Ali managed to invoke.

"I'm always alright." Though her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, he gave her points for trying.

Dean debated the merits of saying something else, anything else, but realized there was just nothing he could say. With one last glance, he turned away, leaving Ali to her demons.

XXXXX

Ali sighed before dialing the familiar numbers.

"Harvelle's" Ellen sounded tired, her normally boisterous voice flat

"Ellen? It's Ali, we've got her."

"Is she alright?" Concern flared quickly, even over the phone, and Ali fought not to flinch

"A bit battered around the edges, but she'll be fine."

"How long before you can get her back here?"

"We're still in Las Cruces and we won't be heading out till morning."

"Why the hell not?"

Now came the familiar anger, hot and sharp over her already battered senses. Ali took a deep breath and tried to ignore it.

"Sam got hurt, we're laying low for the night and we'll head out in the morning."

"Las Cruces is more than a thousand miles from here"

"Really? I didn't know that." Ali deadpanned

"You won't make it here tomorrow"

"Dean's driving so I think we might" she couldn't keep the tightness out of her tone with his name

"Ah."

Was that a hint of remorse Ali heard, or something darker, something satisfied.

"Yeah, thanks for the heads up on that one"

"Didn't think you'd much care either way"

The casual dismissal of something Ellen had to know would be painful really pissed Ali off.

"Bullshit"

Ellen just laughed, sounding so much like the cat that got the canary, that Ali hoped she choked on it.

"You knew it would mess me up, dealing with them after everything"

"Don't talk to me about that, I know what happened." Ellen sounded so righteous, so sure

"Ellen, you don't know shit and you never did."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Anger again, sharper this time, more personal.

"Never mind. I'll call from the road."

Ali ended the call abruptly, suddenly so tired. It had taken all of her energy just to get through today, and now that it was over she wanted to sleep for a year. Who the hell did Ellen think she was, treating everything that Ali had been through like it was nothing? Like Ali was nothing. Save the woman's daughter, but no, that's not enough to even get her treated like a human being. Because she would never be a human being to Ellen, and she knew it. Ali slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest she let herself do something she allowed so rarely, she let herself cry. She cried for herself, for Jo, for Jake and John, and hell, she even cried a little for Sam and Dean. She just cried.

XXXXX

It was agreed that Sam, Jo, and Dean needed sleep the most, which left Jake and Ali to fend for themselves. Jake had moved Jo onto the bed with Sam, both of them too hurt and tired to argue, leaving the other bed for Dean.

"You know, it makes more sense for the two of you to have the bed. I can sleep on the floor or something."

"First of all, why would you say that, and second, you need the sleep so you can drive tomorrow." Ali balled up her hoodie to use as a pillow.

"Well the two of you are…" Dean trailed off, suddenly wondering if he had misread the whole thing

"Are?" Ali's voice held a sharp edge, a warning

"Familiar?" he recovered, trying to pull his foot out of his mouth

"He's practically my brother" she clarified, taking pity on Dean

"Hey!" Jake said with mock outrage

"Sorry darlin' it's true." Ali leaned over to pat his cheek, giggling when he snapped his teeth at her.

"Okay then. Are you sure you're going to be alright on the floor?" Dean asked one last time

"And I thought chivalry was dead." Ali sighed, placing a hand over her heart dramatically. "We'll be fine."

Dean was through arguing, he was tired, and honestly glad to have the bed. It wasn't long before he was asleep, his deep breathing mingling with soft snores from Sam. Jo was half awake, staring at the ceiling like it held the secrets of the universe, but she didn't speak, and so they left her to her thoughts.

Ali couldn't sleep. Not an uncommon occurrence by any means, but irritating none the less. Jake was dozing in the little chair by the window, one hand supporting his head, the other on the butt of his gun. There was no reason for her to be awake, she was as safe as she could be. Ali was scared. For so long she avoided the Winchesters, skipped towns the day they rolled in just so there was no chance of seeing them. She couldn't help thinking it was all John's fault, but deep down she knew that was a lie.

XXXXX

**Whitewater State Park, Minnesota**

**May 16th, 1995**

"Are you sure she's ready for this Bill?"

John looked away from the road to glance at the girl in the back seat. Somewhere along the way, the rumble of voices and the purr of the Impala's engine had lulled her to sleep. She was pressed against the door, chestnut hair curling softly around her face. Asleep she looked younger than her twelve years, more innocent than her training made her. It never sat comfortably with John, teaching such a young girl to be a hunter, but with what he had done with his sons, he had no stones to throw.

"My Ali is a fighter Johnny boy, she'll come through for us."

William "Bill" Harvelle barely spared a thought for his daughter, his only concern was the job. He and John had been on the trail of this particular demon for almost two weeks, tonight might be their only chance to catch the damn thing, Bill wasn't going to let anything mess this up. Not anything.

"You sure we need to use her?" John asked for the third time, "couldn't one of us act as bait?"

"For the last time John, Ali is the bait we need, demons can't resist her."

Her father's tone may have been cold, but he was right. From the moment that yellow-eyed bastard killed her mother all those years ago, anything supernatural was drawn to her.

Less than a half hour later they were at the park gates. Bill jumped out to cut the chain, swinging the heavy iron gate open with a flourish. They parked in the lot closest to the clearing where the deaths had taken place. Six young campers had gone missing in this stretch of Minnesota woods in the last three weeks, park officials were saying it was a cougar. Somehow John had gotten into the morgue records and figured out that it was some kind of demon. The killings were too ritualistic, too precise for it to have been an animal attack, so here they were, trying to get the thing before it could kill again.

"Ali, sweetheart, we're here." John nudged her awake gently, smiling when she blinked her big blue eyes at him. God. Sometimes she reminded him so much of little Sammy.

"We're here?" she asked groggily "Where's dad?"

"Your dad's just setting up." John offered her a hand to get out of the car "Come on honey, we have to go."

"Alright."

Hand in hand they moved through the woods, shifting through the trees on almost silent feet. When they reached the clearing John let Ali go, watching as she moved to her father. Bill spared barely a glance at her before getting her ready. When he was sure she was as prepared as she could be, he moved into the brush with John.

"Did you give her a knife at least?" John whispered

"She's got that bowie from you, it's like her own damn teddy bear." Bill scoffed, brushing the other man's questioning aside.

The two men waited, eyes on Ali, ears open for the slightest sound, guns at the ready.

It was faster than they expected.

The creature burst out of the trees with alarming speed. John ignored Bill's restraining hand on his arm and burst out to get to Ali before it did. The creature spun, charging John instead. He threw himself to the side, air rushing out of him in a burst of pain when he hit the ground. Rolling quickly to his feet, John rushed back toward the bushes. Bill never stood a chance. The creature tore into the brush, thrusting its claws into Bill's abdomen it threw him into the clearing. Ali screamed. John emptied his clip into the head of the damn thing and loaded and unloaded another just to be sure. When he turned back, Ali was trying to hold her father's torn body together with her little hands.

"Help me!" she screamed at him

John took one look at the fallen man and knew that there was nothing to be done. The creature had torn him wide open, his intestines glistened wetly in the moonlight.

"Don't just stand there, help me" Ali sobbed, pressing harder on the gaping wound.

Bill made a strangled sound. God. He could still feel the pain. John paled when he saw the question in the other man's face. They both knew that it was hopeless, they both knew that all Bill was going to get was a slow and painful death.

"Ali honey, there's nothing we can do." John tried to sooth her, tried to make her understand.

"There has to be something, he's still breathing, there has to be something we can do." She begged him, tears streaming freely down her face.

"Ali, he's in a lot of pain." John put his hand on the butt of his gun and willed her to understand, to not make him say it out loud.

She looked at him for a long moment, and he could see the war between the child who needed a father, and the young woman who understood. Silently she kissed her father on the cheek, got to her feet and walked away. She wasn't more than fifteen yards away when she heard the single gun shot, but she didn't flinch, she just kept walking. John followed behind her with Bill, wrapped in John's own jacket, slung over his shoulder. They didn't speak until they were back at the Roadhouse. John let the car idle in the parking lot for a moment as he prepared to tell Ellen that Bill was dead.

"I'm so sorry Ali" he whispered, voice broken

"You didn't have a choice." She replied tonelessly, staring sightless out the window

"There's always a choice"

"Then you made the right one." She finally tore her gaze to his face, taking in the pale skin and features lined with grief and guilt. "You did the right thing John, my dad made his own choices."

"Can you ever forgive me?" he asked, half fearing her answer, instead she surprised him, leaning over in the seat to cup his cheek in her small hand.

"There's nothing to forgive."

She slid out of the car, opening the back door to pull out her duffle. John lifted Bill into his arms gently, there was no easy way to break the news to Ellen and Jo, but John would do whatever he could to make it easier on them. Easier, right. There's no easy way to lose a spouse, a loved one.

Ellen was waiting up for them like always, and she didn't even spare a glance for her blood-spattered stepdaughter. When John came through the door and laid Bill's body on the floor, she dropped to her knees, keening like a wild and broken thing. The noise woke Jo, and she came pattering down the stairs in her nightgown. When she saw what was left of her father she ran to John, beating on him with her tiny fists. He took the assault, standing stoic and unmoving, he took it as his penance. Ellen pulled Jo into her arms, both of them rocking and sobbing, leaving Ali to stand at the bar alone.

John lied. Bill was acting as bait and he was on point. The creature was faster than they expected, John screwed up, hesitated, there was nothing he could do.

"Ellen I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am." John finished weakly.

"Get out" she snarled at him, "Get out and take the demon spawn with you."

Ali turned her pale face to John, she never believed it would be like this. Never thought Ellen hated her this much.

"Ellen, Ali needs you." John tried to reason with her, tried to make her understand what kind of mistake she was making.

"We don't need her kind around here, and I don't need you telling me what to do." Ellen stood, glaring at John. "Take her with you or I swear to God I'll put her out into the street."

John didn't hesitate again. Ali ran to pack her things, she didn't have much, but she wasn't willing to leave any of it behind. They paused at the door, both hoping Ellen would change her mind and tell Ali she could stay. They were back on the road less than ten minutes later.

It would be two days before Ali spoke again, two days before they reached Lawrence and John left her with the only woman he could trust to look after her. Missouri Mosley. Missouri said it was normal for a child who had gone through a traumatic experience to have problems talking, Dean did the same thing after Mary died and he turned out just fine. Ali finally spoke when it was time to say goodbye.

"Take care of yourself sweetheart" John whispered, holding her close for a moment, "Listen to Missouri and be good."

"Promise you'll come back?" she asked, holding tight to the front of his jacket, "Promise I'll see you again."

"I promise" Dropping a kiss to the top of her head, John climbed into the Impala and drove out of her life.

She never saw him again.

XXXXX

**Harvelle's Roadhouse**

**Off HWY. 77 outside of Lincoln, Nebraska**

The sun was setting when the Impala pulled into the parking lot. From the looks of things, Ellen had been closed for business for a while. Jake climbed out first, taking Jo in his arms he waited for the others to join him before heading to the door. Between them, Dean and Ali managed to get Sam inside. Ellen sat at the bar, looking just like she did the day they brought Bill home. When the door opened, she turned haunted eyes to them, not moving or speaking until Jo said her name.

"Mama" Jo said softly, "I'm home."

Ellen rushed over to them, tears streaming down her face as she reached out to touch her daughter.

"Oh thank God." She whispered. "Please, come in."

Jake sat Jo down at one of the tables, careful not to jar her. Dean lowered Sam to a seat beside her with equal caution. Only Ali stayed standing, the look in her eyes daring Ellen to challenge her right to be there.

"I suppose I owe you a thanks." Ellen said softly, "You saved my daughter, I suppose I owe you that."

"Please," Ali scoffed "the thought that I did something that might give you a warm and fuzzy feeling makes me want to kick my own ass."

"Allison" Jake reprimanded sharply, shocked at her tone

"What?" she snapped back

"It's all right." Ellen held up a hand "I suppose I deserved that."

"I suppose you do." Ali muttered, dropping gracelessly into a chair beside Sam. It really churned her up, being here again after all these years.

"Look, there's some rooms upstairs, you're welcome to stay." Ellen sighed "All of you."

"Thanks but I think I'll pass" Ali replied, bitterness heavy in her tone

"Bobby dropped the truck off for you this morning. She's parked out back."

"Alright then." Ali stood, eager to get the hell out of here. "Jake?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Dean grabbed her wrist, forcing her to look at him.

"You're leaving?"

"Places to go, demons to kill." Ali shrugged, moving on was just a fact of life. She hesitated before turning away, pulling a business card from her pocket and handing it to Dean.

"What's this?" he asked, turning it over in his hand. All it had on it was a phone number.

"You ever hear of a 'Get out of Jail Free Card'?"

"Yeah"

"Well this is a 'Get out of Hell Free' card. At some point in your life, God forbid, you have nowhere else to turn just call that number."

With that she slung her duffel over her shoulder and reached for the door.

"Hey Ali" Dean called, looking up from the card

"Yeah?" She turned, puzzled

"Thanks" He smiled, green eyes smouldering with some emotion she couldn't name

"Anytime"

Blowing one last sassy kiss, she walked back into the night. Just as promised John's black beauty was parked in the back lot. Pulling the keys from her pocket Ali ran a hand along the hood.

"Hello beautiful, I missed you."

"Dude, you're macking on a damn truck." Jake snorted, shaking his head at her attachment to, what he considered to be a hunk of metal.

"Shhh, don't listen to the mean man baby, mama loves you."

They both laughed as they climbed in. Ali fired up the engine, grinning at the throaty purr, she turned to smile at Jake before peeling out. Back on the highway she cranked the stereo, tapping the steering wheel in time with the music.

XXXXX

**Author's Note:** So I am not exactly painting Bill, Ellen, or Jo in the nicest light...and I am sure there are people who are going to have a problem with that...I don't care. In my little world they aren't nice people. It's my story and I'll make them do what I want. Keep an eye out for Chapter Three - Catalyst, coming as soon as I finish it...kicks plot bunnies Oh, in regards to the rating...smut coming right up...but be careful what you ask the bunnies for...they're a bit twisted.


	3. Chapter 3

**Horseshoes & Hand Grenades**

**Chapter Three**

**Catalyst**

**Savannah, Georgia**

**Six Weeks Later**

"So tell me again why we're here" Dean griped, it had taken almost seven hours of hard driving to get here so fast.

"First of all, Savannah is rumored to be the most haunted city in America," Sam held up three fingers "Secondly, I had a vision, and third..."

"Third?" Dean prompted, smirking at his brother

"Third because I said so." Sam finished weakly

Dean couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes, in spite of how grown-up he acted, Sam still reminded him of when they were kids. As they turned into the motel parking lot, Dean gasped. There, parked in front of one of the rooms, was his father's truck.

"Sam..." he jerked his head in the direction he was looking.

"Holy shit" Sam gasped softly, "Is that..."

"Yeah, I think it is." Dean's voice sounded incredulous

"What the hell is Dad's truck doing in Savannah?"

"Let's find out."

While Dean got them registered, Sam used his height to his advantage. Reading the sign-in sheet upside-down, he discovered that there was only one other room occupied, eleven. Dean palmed the keys for room nine, frowning to himself.

"We could always knock on the door and see who it is." Sam said reasonably

"Yeah, I suppose we could."

Dean bypassed their room, moving straight for room eleven. Raising his fist, he pounded on the door. There was a pause before he heard the chain being disengaged. When the door flew open, you could have knocked him down with a feather. Jake leaned against the doorframe, shit eating grin on his face.

"Well hell, I guess it's true what they say"

"What do they say?" Dean asked after a moment

"Bad pennies always turn up sooner or later." Jake smiled, holding the door open in invitation, calling over his shoulder "Hey Ali, we've got company."

Ali came out of the bathroom, curiosity plain on her face.

"We'll I'll be damned" she smirked "What brings you two to Savannah?"

"Sammy had a vision" Dean jerked his thumb in Sam's general direction, not noticing the discomfort on his brother's face.

"Hey Sam" Ali smiled softly at the youngest Winchester, "How's the shoulder?"

"It's good, thanks." Sam rubbed ruefully at it, remembering the biting sting of the bullet.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about that." Ali's face was serious now as she reached out to touch his arm. "I never would have..."

"It's alright" he assured her "I know."

"So" Jake said, sitting at the small table "A vision?"

"What did you see?" Ali asked, gesturing the two men to sit as well.

"No much really." Sam sat, running a frustrated hand through his hair, "Claws, blood, nothing concrete."

Dean opted to stand. "Nice ride" he commented to Ali

"Yeah, about that" Ali looked away, unable to meet his eyes, "Your dad left it to me."

"Were you ever going to say anything?" He asked, voice hard

"Actually I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"Nice excuse."

"It's not an excuse actually, it's the truth."

"Ha" Dean laughed humorlessly, "What would you know about the truth?"

"About as much as you I would imagine."

The two hunters were toe-to-toe, snarling at each other like dogs. Sam and Jake shared a glance that seemed to say, 'Family, what are you going to do about them?'

"Why the hell would my father leave his truck to you?" Dean demanded

"I don't know" Ali shouted back

"How involved with him were you?" Dean's tone was insolent, his implication clear

"I wasn't. When your dad died, I hadn't seen him in more than ten years."

"Then why the hell would he leave you his truck?" Bafflement now, because he was starting to think she might be telling the truth.

"Because he owed me!" Ali snapped; she had finally had enough. "He made a promise and he didn't keep it."

"What promise?" Sam asked softly, flinching when she turned tear-filled eyes to face him.

"He promised he'd come back for me." She whispered before pushing past Dean and out the door.

XXXXX

**Lawrence, Kansas**

**January, 1999**

Years had passed, months had come and gone, and still there was no sign he was ever coming back. He called a few times, talked mostly to Missouri, told her to be patient, and that was it. Ali tried to be good, she went to school every day, read books on the supernatural every night, and trained whenever she got the chance. She was bound and determined, when John came back for her, she'd be ready.

It was just after her sixteenth birthday when they finally had a visitor. Jake was an old friend of John's, the son of one of his old marine buddies, he was there to make sure Ali was safe. He started coming every weekend, taking her along on easy hunts and training her with new weapons. She learned quickly, grasping the Latin verses with ease, and moving with the quick reflexes of a cat. It wasn't long before she and Jake were like real partners. The ten years between them didn't seem like much, Ali having to grow up so fast, and Jake trying so much to avoid it.

Ali finished school early and devoted all her time and energy to the hunt. She was so sure that if she could be good enough, John would come back for her. After that summer, Ali packed her things, climbed into Jake's beat-up old pick-up truck, and hit the road for good. Missouri never seemed too surprised by this, she knew that there was nothing that could make Allison Harvelle forget the hunt. She was made in it, made for it, and there was no taking that back.

A couple of times they would hit a town, scope the scene, and Jake would have them peeling out just as fast as they came in. He never said it, but she knew it had something to do with the Winchesters. Ali often found herself wondering about John's boys. Rumor had it that they were making to be as good as their father, maybe better.

It wouldn't have surprised her to learn that Sam and Dean knew nothing about her. John was a very private man, and he would have no reason to talk about her. It would have shocked her to know that he went back to the Roadhouse. Not often, and never without a very good reason, but he went back. Ellen never mentioned that night, never mentioned Ali, it was like she had never existed.

After everything she had been through, Ali might as well have been a ghost. The only people who knew or cared that she existed were Jake and Missouri, John seemed to have forgotten her completely.

XXXXX

Nightfall found Ali at the Bay Street Blues tavern. She had walked for hours, dipping into and out of shops and alleyways. She finally turned her cell phone off after the fourth call from Jake. Ali knew he would be worried, but right now she needed to be alone. Sliding onto a stool at the bar, Ali caught the bartender's attention.

"Choose the one drink you wouldn't give to your worst enemy and give me a double."

"Is that really wise?" the bartender asked, reaching for a bottle of Jack Daniels and pouring a healthy dose.

"I take my wisdom where I can get it" As Ali toasted herself, she became aware of a strangely familiar presence at her back.

"Making friends with Jack?" Dean enquired, gesturing for a beer.

"More like getting reacquainted with an old familiar friend"

Tossing back the contents of her glass, Ali turned defiant eyes on him, daring him to say something. Dean simply saluted her with his beer and turned to flirt with the bartender. An hour later, his bottle had become a pitcher, and he moved to the faded pool tables in the corner. He watched Ali fleece three guys out of what might have been close to five hundred bucks, not a bad take in a town like this. A petite blonde slid easily into his lap whispering all manner of naughty suggestions in his ear. While he would normally have enjoyed seeing if she could really do the things she claimed, personally he doubted anyone was that flexible, he found himself wanting a sassy brunette. When the brunette in question cocked a brow at him, he couldn't help but grin.

There was something between them, something smoldering underneath all the anger and hostility. Ali and Dean were two of a kind, both fashioned into weapons at such young ages that there was really nothing else for them. The thrill of the hunt was as good as it gets. They each carried their own scars, most of which never saw the light of day, they each battled personal demons, and at the end of the day, they each wanted something more.

XXXXX

They stumbled back to the motel together sometime after last call. Arm in arm they wove their way past darkened storefronts and quiet homes.

While she fumbled for her room key, Dean made his move. With the casual grace of a cat he leaned into her, hesitating the barest breath from her mouth, needing to be sure it was what she wanted. Ali fisted her hand in his jacket and yanked his mouth down to hers. Pure liquid heat pooled around both of them as they pressed deeper. Ali pulled away first, leaning her head against Dean's chest.

"I'm sorry."

"God, why?" he curled his hand under her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

"This..." she hesitated, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's just not possible." Ali sounded so sad, so confused, it pressed into his heart.

"I don't understand." Dean was trying, he really was, but he couldn't understand complicating something as natural as breathing. Well, natural to him at least.

"I'm sorry Dean, I really am."

With that she unlocked the door, giving him one last look before closing it in his face.

XXXXX

The next morning they all gathered at a local diner to plan their next move. Sam's vision didn't give them very much to go on, but it was all that they had. There had been fourteen deaths this year alone, thirty-seven over the last decade. The M.O. was similar to a werewolf, but it didn't match the lunar cycle.

"Goddamn it!" Sam slammed his fist down on the table, startling a family on the other side of the restaurant.

"Jesus man, what?" Dean asked, worried about his brother

"These visions," Sam pressed the heels of his hands sharply over his eyes, as if willing it to all go away. "They aren't natural, and what good are they if I can't help people?"

"Sam..." Dean didn't know what to say

"What good am I if I can't help people?"

Jake and Ali shared a long look; it wasn't too long ago that they found themselves having a very similar conversation. Ali reached across the table, taking one of Sam's hands.

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are Sam…it is our choices." When she saw that she had his full attention, she continued. "The things that we're willing to do, and the things we aren't. It's not the fur or the fangs that make the monster; not really, it's where we choose to draw the line."

Ali reached her other hand out to cup his cheek, running her thumb softly across his skin, she smiled sadly.

"The day you stop questioning yourself is the day you lose yourself." Jake finished quietly, running his hand down Ali's back.

"Is there anything in your dad's journal that might give us a clue as to what we're facing?" Jake asked, a bit hesitant to mention John.

"He's got some notes on a creature with a similar pattern from Minnesota a few years ago, but that was the woods." Dean shook his head, "This thing is attacking in the city, so I don't think it's the same thing."

"I'd like to take a look at what you've got, if you don't mind" Jake asked

Dean shrugged, "Sure man, no problem."

"Minnesota you say?" Ali asked, distant look in her eyes, "That would have been in 95' I would imagine."

Dean pulled out the journal and checked the dates on the entry. May 20th, 1995.

"How did you know?" Sam asked, reading over his brother's shoulder.

"I was there." She replied before sliding out of the booth. "I need to walk."

"Ali," Sam grabbed her wrist before she could run off again, "Let me come with you."

"Alright."

XXXXX

They walked together in silence, both lost in their own troubling thoughts. As they turned to stroll down the waterfront, Sam finally spoke.

"It hurts you, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Ali glanced at him

"My dad never mentioned you."

"I came to terms with your father a long time ago."

Sam stopped, turning to look out over the water. With his hands thrust deep into his pockets, he considered the man his father had been.

"You loved him" Sam said softly, feeling her beside him "In spite of everything."

"Yeah" Ali whispered, "Or maybe because of everything."

Sam laughed before reaching for her hand. "Let's get ice cream."

"Sam, it's barely eleven o'clock!" Ali giggled as he pulled her into a chocolate shop.

They finished their stroll eating cones piled high with chocolate and sprinkles, laughing at the mess they were making. When they reached the end of the road they turned back, taking the treed path instead of the sidewalk.

"What happened in Minnesota?" Sam asked, slinging his arm over Ali's shoulders

"I don't want to talk about it" Ali pulled away, but he kept his arm around her. "It was a long time ago Sam."

"What if it's the same thing killing now?"

"Then I know how to kill it." Her voice was emotionless

"Ali…"

"Sam, it's as simple as that." She narrowed her eyes at him, "Do you want to talk about what happened to your girlfriend?"

"You've made your point." Sam let his arm fall from her shoulders

"Have I?"

"Yeah."

They finished the walk back to the diner in silence; Dean and Jake were waiting outside for them.

"We were just going to call you." Jake said, giving Ali a thorough once over, noticing her distress

"Yeah," Dean quipped "We wanted to make sure you two hadn't killed each other."

"Bitch" Sam muttered, flipping his brother the bird

"Jerk" Dean replied, cuffing Sam in the head

Ali and Jake just shook their heads, brothers…yeesh.

XXXXX

It took most of the rest of the day for them to work out the pattern of attacks and figure out where the next one was most likely to occur. Lake Mayer Park was a beautiful place by day, but by night it was a nerve-wracking maze of trees and a black, glassy lake.

Fanning out, the hunters managed to cover most of the attack area. There was no way for them to communicate; all they could do is wait. As one hour bled into two, they were all starting to wonder if they were in the right place. It was decided that they would re-group and try again the next night.

It all happened too fast, they never had a chance.

Sam was less than ten feet away from Dean when the creature came out of nowhere. With the powerful swipe of its arm, it sent Sam flying into the trees. Dean was too far away, there was no way he could get back to his brother in time. Just as the creature advanced on Sam, Jake burst out of the trees and put himself between them. The creature never hesitated; it simply thrust its claws into his chest and left him to die.

A scream cut across the water, Ali stood, the horror of the scene in front of her echoing in her eyes. She screamed again, Dean felt all the hair on his body stand on end, the creature howled as it was suddenly split open. Had Dean not been watching, he never would have believed it, it was as if a dozen invisible knives sliced the creature apart.

Ali ran forward, stopping at the body of her best friend. Slowly, shaking, she knelt beside Jake. She gently lifted his head onto her lap, combing trembling fingers through his thick brown hair. Ali considered what a waste it was, what a pathetic end to someone so remarkable. Heroes didn't die like this, she thought. It was twisted, wrong, because happily ever after did not include Jake sprawled on the ground, killed by a careless swipe of claws.

Dean looked on with horror, terrified at how easily it could have been Sam. He watched Ali break down; cradling Jake's broken body to her chest as she sobbed. Dean finally turned away, unable to bear the sight, but he couldn't block out the heart wrenching sounds of Ali's grief. Sam crawled on his knees behind her, pulling her into his arms. She railed against him, beating his chest with her fists, before collapsing into sobs again.

XXXXX

They drove out to the city limits, Ali sat silent in the back seat with Jake wrapped in an old blanket. When they reached a clearing, Dean pulled over. Ali stood silent while Sam and Dean dug a grave; she hadn't spoken since they split up at the park. It wasn't long before they finished digging. As they lowered Jake gently into the hole, Sam offered to say a few words. Ali shook her head, anything that they could say would never be enough, because what can you say to the loss of a brother? Dean covered Jake's body in a fine coating of salt and lighter fluid, offering a lit match to Ali so she could do the honors. With her hand steady Ali tossed the match, the sudden flare lighting her face. She didn't even cry.

Back at the hotel, Ali gathered up Jake's things, sorting out what she would keep and what she would give away. Gathering up a bag of supplies, she knocked on the Winchester's door. Dean answered, his quiet sympathy grating on her nerves.

"These are for you and Sam," she passed him the bag, "Keep what you want, toss what you don't, I don't really care."

Leaving Dean staring baffled after her, Ali walked out into the night.

"What was that?" Sam asked, coming out of the bathroom

"Ali dropped some of Jake's things for us." Dean took a cursory look at the bundle in his arms. It looked to be mostly clothes.

"Where did she go?"

"Off into the night like always." Dean gestured to the darkened street, it was starting to rain.

"I think I'm going to head out for a drink." Sam decided, pulling on some fresh clothes.

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Dean asked with a raised brow, "Do we need to talk or something?"

"You need a shower, I need a drink." Sam shrugged, "It's not rocket science."

Leaving Dean to his thoughts Sam headed for the nearest bar. There was something about death that made him want to drink tequila and forget his name.

XXXXX

It was raining hard. It hadn't been when she left the motel, but it seemed that the longer she walked the harder it fell. An hour passed as she circled back around, and passing his motel room for what had to be the third or fourth time, Ali found herself walking to the door.

Dean was in the shower when he heard knocking. Thinking it might be his wayward brother having locked himself out, Dean twisted off the taps and snagged a towel. Moving quickly to the door, Dean grabbed his gun from the duffle bag before calling out

"Who's there?"

"Dean? It's Ali" came the muffled response

Dean paused, surprised at the visit. He tossed his gun on the table before moving to open the door.

"Hey Ali..." he trailed off, hesitating at the realization that he was very nearly naked. "Come in."

Ali was soaked to the skin and shivering at the abrupt temperature change. "I'm sorry to bother you..."

She stepped over the threshold, mind emptying as she glanced from his wet hair to his bare feet and everything in-between, admiring the nearly unimpeded view of his body. With some men you could tell they worked out to get built, that they had to try. With others, with Dean, you could tell he was like steel. Battered and tempered by life into something hard, sharp. Something deadly and beautiful.

Instinctually she stepped closer, the urge to touch him had her clenching her fists. "I just wanted..." Oh God, there were so many things she wanted, needed.

"You wanted?" Dean prompted, fighting the desire pulsing through him.

The rain plastered her simple jeans and t-shirt against her body, clinging to her curves. When she looked up into his eyes, he was nearly lost. The desire swimming there had him stepping back, away, trying desperately not to attack her right there.

"I wanted..." she trailed off again, stepping forward, reaching out to touch him

"Don't" he spat, grabbing her wrist "Just don't" he stepped away again

Ali was confused, the look on his face said he wanted this as much as she did. "Dean, I..."

"Don't Ali" he turned away. There was no anger in his voice, just a cold hardness, like he's doing this for the greater good and he really hates being that guy, the guy that does the right thing because he cares, instead of taking what he can get when he can get it.

She moved into him, lithely pressing herself against the heat of his back. He shivered at the contact of her wet shirt against him. He turned, intending to push her away again, when she twisted herself around and pressed him into the bathroom door. Before he could do anything more than a grab her arms, she moved up onto her toes and kissed him so intensely he wanted to crawl right into it until his bones dissolved. Until this fist of need loosened in his chest. But his survival instinct was strong and had him pulling back.

"Ali…" he managed, trying to untangle his hand form where he fisted it in her hair, "You should go"

"No" she said, pressing closer into him

"Ali, this isn't the answer" he pushed roughly away from her, moving toward the front door

"Dean, I'm not asking questions" she stood in the middle of the room, resolved.

Looking Dean in the eye she peeled off her shirt and tossed it over her shoulder. Toeing out of her boots, she moved barefoot towards him. From the moment her hands went to the hem of her shirt Dean was lost. Warring with himself, knowing he would probably hate himself for this in the morning, Dean took two striding steps and met her in the middle. When their mouths met, it was a challenge, a war. Two warriors fighting for dominance, neither willing to submit.

There was too much stuff on the beds to be swept aside, so Dean turned them toward the little sofa. He kept his hands on her hips when he sat, kept her upright so he could peel the wet denim down her legs. She shuddered as the heat of the room met her damp skin. Holding tight to his shoulders, she gasped as he cupped her lace-covered breasts in the heat of his hands. When he unhooked her bra, she shrugged out of it with more speed than grace, making him smile in the indifferent light. He brought his hands back up to cup her breasts again, pressing her nipples in the palm of his hands. He nipped lightly at her waist, drawing another soft gasp. When she rolled her hips impatiently, he hooked his fingers in the lace of her panties. He nuzzled her hip as he eased them down her legs. Drawing his hands gently up her inner thighs, he couldn't help but smirk when her hands tightened on his shoulders. Suddenly she pushed him back against the couch and slid onto his lap. She was kissing him like it was the last thing she would ever do. Kissing with such fierce and desperate intensity that Dean forced himself to pull back.

"We don't have to do this" he murmured softly, framing her face with his hands "We can still walk away."

Ali considered it for a moment, actually considered stepping away. Outside cars swept along the highway and the wind blew the rain against the window. Outside was the real world, a world where they never quite fit in, where they were always outsiders, but in here they could belong. She made her decision.

With a flick of her wrist she opened his towel and grasped his pulsing cock in a firm grip.

"No Dean" she whispered, scraping her teeth along his jaw "This we have to do."

Before he could process a response, before he could think, she jerked her hips, tearing through her body's resistance, and all he could do was feel. Her body was so tight around him that he had to grit his teeth not to burst. Her hands were back on his shoulders, gripping so tightly he knew he would have bruises, but his hands on her hips were no gentler. Ali shifted her legs, changing her balance point, giving herself the room to move. God she could move. Rolling her hips in an ever quickening movement, she worked herself on his thick length, forcing him to brace his legs and move against her.

Back and forth they fought with and against each other, the scrape of her nails down his back was met with the sharp edge of his teeth against her shoulder. Dean braced his weight, and with the skill of a dancer flipped them so Ali was pinned beneath him. Chest heaving she glared at him, daring him to take her, daring him to make her his.

Dean Winchester was never one to turn down a good dare.

He locked one arm around her hips, the other braced above her head, and then he moved. Hard and fast, he didn't give her time to adjust, he just worked himself inside her. He buried his head in her neck, his breath hot on her throat, and he did just what she dared. He took her and made her his. They balanced on that shimmering edge between pleasure and pain, locked in the exquisite dance, with a rhythm like a heartbeat. It was instinctive, animalistic, the abandoning of their bodies to fate. The only sound was the pounding of the rain, the smack of flesh on flesh, and the strangled cries of completion.

Curled on their sides, Ali rest her head on his shoulder listening to his breathing, ragged in her ear. Dean leaned his head against hers, trying desperately to pull his defenses back together. They sat like this for what seemed like hours, Dean lightly tracing abstract patterns along her back, Ali absently toying with his hair, their hearts beating together.

"This is an extraordinarily compromising position we've gotten ourselves into" she murmured in the voice of a woman deliciously satisfied.

"Looks that way" his voice was rough, and she could almost hear the smirk she was sure he was giving.

"Dean, we have to deal with this" She was hesitant, not wanting to break the fragile bond between them, but unable to hold her tongue.  
"I... don't know what to do about this." Dean hated to admit his uncertainty, his weakness  
"I do." Ali sounded so sure that it hurt, so sure that everything could be alright.

"Ali, you know that isn't possible" He tried to be as gentle as he could, tried to make her understand.

"Why not?" She demanded, anger creeping into her voice, as she reached for her clothes.

"My life dictates that certain feelings, certain experiences aren't possible. I'm a beast in a cage, watching the rest of the world enjoy a life I'll never know"

Dean's voice was sharp, as much as he tried to deny it, it was a bitter pill to swallow, especially at a time like this, when he could still feel her on his skin, still taste her cherry lip gloss on his mouth. He turned aside while she dressed, trying desperately to hold himself in check. Trying to quell the urge to pull her back into his arms, tell her he didn't mean it. Beg her to find a way to make it work.

"This cage you're in, Dean - you built it. You locked yourself in it and you're the only person who's keeping you there," she said with a barely contained rage as she pulled her clothes on. "You're looking freedom right in the face and you're turning it away because you'd rather be a prisoner to your damned fear than take a chance on living. I would do anything to be with you, but I can't give what you won't take, and I have no desire to fight losing battles." Her voice cracked as she tried desperately not to cry, not to show how badly she was bleeding inside. "So you'll have your distance. As far as I'm concerned, from here on out, we're just two hunters on the road. You can forget about last night, pretend it never happened...if that's what you want."

As the first tear escaped, burning down her face, Ali shoved past Dean and out the door, fleeing the unyielding reality of the pain of a broken heart.

Dean, for the life of him, never felt as much a scumbag as he did just then. She was right. Everything she said was exactly right. It felt like something beautiful died, and worse, suddenly Dean knew he was the one who killed it.

XXXXX

**Author's Note:** Sorry for killing Jake, it just had to be done. You'll see. I know the sex was a bit soft...but I am getting to the REALLY good bits. Have patience. Hope you liked it anyway; the sex scene was actually the first part of the whole story that I wrote. Weird. Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter…there are 6 that I have planned already…but it will probably be 10...maybe more. wacks plot bunnies with a stick Yeah, we're going for 10 or more. Aiming for the end of the week for Chapter Four…no promises.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **WARNING: This chapter contains scenes of physical and sexual violence.

**Horseshoes & Hand Grenades**

**Chapter Four**

**Running Scared & Free**

XXXXX

Dean warred with himself. There was nothing to be gained by going after her, except perhaps a black eye, but staying alone, with their lovemaking still heavy in the air, didn't have much appeal either. With a muffled oath, he grabbed the first clothes he could find and stomped out to find her.

He didn't have to go far, Ali was leaning against the Impala, smoking, and looking very much like someone with a broken heart.

"I didn't know you smoked" Dean said conversationally, mentally kicking himself for the look on her face

Ali didn't even acknowledge his presence, she just kept smoking, but there was a tremor in her hand when she raised the cigarette to her mouth.

"We have to talk about this Ali" Dean moved to lean beside her, making her glare at him.

"I think we both said everything we needed to." Her voice was harsh as she stubbed out her smoke and turned to walk away.

Dean grabbed her arm, forcing her to face him, forcing her to face herself. When she struggled in his grip he gave her a quick and violent shake.

"Why Allison?"

"Let go of me"

"Answer the question"

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

"What?"

"You were a virgin"

"And?"

"Why me?" he shouted

"I don't know" she shouted back

"Great"

"You know what, fuck you"

"Didn't we already take care of that?"

"Let go of me"

"No"

"Goddamn it Dean let me go!"

"I said no!"

"You want to know why I picked you?"

"Yes dammit, yes"

"Because it hurt"

"What?"

"Everything just hurt, and I needed to..."

"Needed to what? What did you need Ali?"

"I needed to feel something that didn't hurt"

"Oh"

Suddenly everything was starting to make sense. Jake was the last person Ali had in the world, and now he was gone. Dean thought for a moment about what losing Sam might feel like, and immediately his stomach tied itself in knots. He knew all about needing someone, about needing to be needed by someone. God, when did everything get so twisted? How did he screw everything up, and how could he possibly fix this?

"Ali, I'm sorry." Dean let her go, shoving his hands in his pockets

"It's fine, I'm fine."

"I really don't think you are"

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You've recovered Dean, but you haven't healed. You're like Frankenstein's monster, held together by the pain, none of the pieces fitting quite right."

"You think I'm a monster" he was incredulous

"No, I don't. You do."

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about"

"I think I do" she smiled softly

"This isn't a game Ali"

"Yet, you keep playing it, pretending to be something I know you're not."

Dean turned away, unable to face the truth of what she was saying. Ali was right, he hadn't healed; not really, he was just going through the motions and hoping that no one noticed. What the hell was this woman doing to him, turning his whole life upside-down, making him rethink everything about himself. Dean laughed, he couldn't help himself, torture, bullet wounds, knife wounds, bruises, burns, broken bones. A traumatic childhood and a lifetime of following gruesome orders, all that he could handle, but Allison Harvelle shockingly and frequently drove him over the edge.

Ali turned toward her room, calling a last warning over her shoulder.

"Be careful Dean, eventually we all become what we pretend to be."

XXXXX

The next morning, before she could sneak away, Ali found herself facing an inquisition. At some point in the night, Sam had stumbled back to the motel with tequila coming out his pores, but this morning he was a man on a mission. Sam had a very inquisitive mind, he was always very good at getting the answers he wanted...by whatever means necessary.

They were all gathered in Ali's room, Sam and Dean having barged in and blocked her eminent retreat.

"We know you're one of the 'special children'" Sam started

"Yeah, and?" Ali countered, not liking the direction this conversation was taking

"We know you have death visions" he continued, ignoring her comment

"Again, yeah and?"

"You killed that thing in the park." Sam's voice was stark, grave; he made this statement as cold fact.

"No, I didn't" Ali shook her head

"Ali, I saw it myself, you killed it" Dean added gently, frowning at Sam's tone

"That's impossible"

"Not really" Sam continued, "I met a psychic who could kill like that"

"Really?" Ali snorted "You met a psychic who could use empathy to kill?"

"So that's how you did it" Sam sat back, watching Ali flinch when she realized what she said

"It's complicated"

"How about you start at the beginning?" Dean suggested

Ali flopped gracelessly onto the bed, pressing her head into her hands.

"I've had the..." she hesitated "ability...to read people's emotions for as long as I can remember."

"What do you mean 'read' their emotions?" Dean asked softly, kneeling on the floor at her feet

"I can sense what other people are feeling" Ali looked up at Sam, towering over them like a dark angel, "Like right now Sam is angry, confused, and a little scared."

Sam didn't move, didn't flinch, he just kept looking at her like he would know all her secrets. Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother, he knew Sam better than anyone, Ali was right.

"So you can sense emotions, that's a bit different from reading them isn't it?" Dean concluded, turning his attention back to Ali.

"Yes, reading is purposely reaching into someone and feeling what they are feeling."

"What do you mean by that?" Sam asked, still unmoving.

"You wear your emotions openly Sam, but if I wanted to read your brother..." Ali looked down at Dean and smiled softly "If I wanted to read you Dean, I would have to do it on purpose."

"Why?" Dean asked, both grateful and confused by her statement

"You bury your emotions so deep that half the time I don't even think you know what you're feeling." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sometimes it's like you don't feel anything at all." Sam added, finally relenting

Dean looked from Ali to Sam and back again. That his brother thought he was without feeling stunned him. Did he really hide himself so well that even his own brother couldn't see?

"That doesn't explain what happened at the park" he said, "How the hell did you do that?"

"You know how a Grandmother can lift a car off a child?" Ali said, "You know that the same Grandmother couldn't just do it again, right?"

"Well yeah" Dean shrugged

"It's like that."

"I still don't understand how you did that with empathy" Sam said, shaking his head

"I could feel his pain..." Ali wrapped her arms around herself

"Jake's" Dean said softly

"Yeah" Ali nodded, "I could feel his pain like it was mine"

Sam and Dean shared a look, what could it have been like to feel someone you love in so much pain, to feel them die?

"All I could see was that monster, all I could feel was the pain" Ali shook her head, "It just came out of me..."

"Like a punch" Sam finished softly, he knew something about that.

"Yeah," Ali nodded "Like a punch."

Dean stood, taking a good look around the room for the first time. There were two duffle bags on the far bed, both neatly packed. There was nothing left in the room, Ali was leaving again.

"Hey Sam" he said, turning to his brother, "Could you give us a minute?"

Sam nodded, reaching out to touch Ali's arm in a wordless apology before slipping out the door.

"Were you even going to say goodbye?" he asked her, motioning to the packed bags.

"I thought about it."

"And?"

"What was I going to say Dean?" Ali asked, rising to face him "What could I possibly say to you?"

"I don't know" he admitted, "But you could have said something."

"What would you have said?" she countered easily

When he didn't reply, Ali grabbed the bags and turned for the door.

"Ali please just give me a chance," Dean said suddenly, moving himself between Ali and the door. "I know I've been a right bastard..."

"It's not about chances Dean" she said "We make our own chances, we get to decide, we make our own fate."

"I don't understand" and he didn't, what did fate have to do with it?

"I just can't do this. I have to go, you have to let me go." Ali's voice cracked, unable to contain the emotions boiling under the surface any longer.

At the sound of tears in her voice, Dean realized she was right. He had no right to keep her, he had nothing to offer her, Ali was better off on her own. The thought of Ali off on her own twisted in his gut, pressed a sharp pain in his chest.

With a heavy sigh, Dean opened the door and let Ali walk out of his life...again.

XXXXX

**Birmingham, Alabama**

**Two Weeks Later**

Ail didn't know what she was still doing in Birmingham, it had been almost two weeks and she needed to get out of town. The odds that the Winchester's were looking for her were slim, but she needed the distance.

While she pondered her next move over a cup of coffee at the local diner, someone else was stacking the odds. Just as Ali folded up her map, a young creole woman slid into the booth across from her.

"Can I help you?" Ali asked, reaching casually for the gun in her bag

"I need your help to get to New Orleans" the woman replied

"What makes you think I would take you to New Orleans?" Ali was incredulous, but a little intrigued

"My name is Brenna LaSalle, I need to get to New Orleans and you can take me there."

"Sweetheart, there are a million and one people more likely to help you out than me." Ali stood, tossing money on the table for the bill.

"It has to be you" Brenna begged imploringly "She said it had to be you"

"Who said?"

"Missouri"

"How do you know Missouri?"

"She was teaching me to use my gifts"

"So you're a psychic?"

"Yes"

"What's in New Orleans that you have to get to so badly?"

"My mama is..." Brenna hesitated "She's not well"

"And you need to get there to take care of her?"

"I need to say goodbye"

"Well..." Ali hesitated, feeling the pain wash off Brenna in waves. "Can you be ready to leave in about an hour?"

"Of course, where do you want me to meet you?"

"I'm staying at the Calloway Motel, you know it?"

"Yes"

"Meet me out front in an hour"

With that, Ali strode out the door without a backward glance. What the hell possessed her to agree to take a complete stranger to Louisiana? Shaking her head at herself, Ali climbed into the truck. Thankfully New Orleans wasn't much more than five hours away, easy to make it before dark and be back on the road.

XXXXX

True to her word, Brenna was waiting next to the truck when Ali came out an hour later. Tossing her bags in the back and gesturing Brenna to do the same, Ali jogged over to the office to check out.

Swinging into the cab, Ali took a good look at her companion. Brenna was short, probably no more than 5'4", her skin was the colour of coffee and cream, but her eyes were shocking. Large and almond-shaped bottle green eyes, reminding Ali painfully of Dean. Shaking her head as if to rid herself of unwanted thoughts, Ali pulled out of the parking lot and onto the highway.

Thankfully Brenna wasn't a talker, content to simply stare out the window and listen to the classic rock blaring from the radio, but this left Ali to her own thoughts, troubling as they were. What if running wasn't the answer, what if it only made things worse? Missouri always said that you couldn't outrun your fate, that often running lead you right to where you were trying not to go.

XXXXX

It was still early afternoon when they pulled into New Orleans, heat pouring off the road in visible waves. They drove through the city and into the bayou, weaving along old back country roads. Ali was surprised by the well-kept condition of the house Brenna directed her to. It was an old plantation manor, faded with age, but still beautiful.

"Did you want to come in?" Brenna asked softly, lifting her bag from the back.

"I don't think so"

"Might be you find what you're looking for"

"And what might I be looking for?" Ali asked, gazing sharply at the other woman

"That's not for me to know" Brenna shrugged, turning for the wide front porch "Coming?"

The inside of the house was much better preserved than the outside. Miles of pine floors gleamed in the light from the large bay windows. Ali ran her hand along the curve of the banister, looking up at the old chandelier with wonder.

"In here child." A woman's voice called from the parlor

"I'm sorry, Brenna's gone upstairs" Ali said softly, poking her head into the room

"S'not Brenna I'm waiting for."

"Oh, well then."

Ali stepped into the parlor, immediately enthralled by the woman in front of her. Of indeterminate age, she was obviously a Voodoo Priestess, garbed in the trappings of her faith.

"Why do you run away child?" her voice was rich, like smoke and honey

"I'm not running"

"Not just now, but it's what you do, isn't it?"

"I feel the weight of the world bearing down on me. A future I don't want." Ali paused, not knowing where that thought came from "So I keep running as fast as I can... anywhere... nowhere."

The woman just stared at her, intense, like she could see right inside, like all the secrets of the soul were hers.

"I know you." She said suddenly, eyes clearing "You're the Angel of Fire."

Ali jerked at the woman's words. There had been a paramedic, when her mother died, who called her that.

"You know what you have to do" the woman continued, "you know there are certain sacrifices that need to be made."

"What sacrifices?" Ali's voice was barely a whisper

"If you don't find a way to save him, you will all die."

The woman paused, considering for a moment.

"There is a great prophecy." Seeing the comprehension in Ali's face she continued, "You know what I speak of."  
"Yes."  
"You have only one destiny, and that destiny is... that you must offer your life in exchange for the life of the chosen one." The woman's eyes were cloudy again, and something in the air made Ali's hair stand on end.

"Who is the chosen one?" Though she dreaded the answer, Ali had to know.

"Only you know the answer...the choice is yours."

Before Ali could ask anything else, before she could demand answers, Brenna came back downstairs.

"Ali?" she said tentatively, "Do you think you could take me into town?"

"Yeah Brenna, sure" Ali shook her head, feeling the delicate touch of another mind.

They were just stepping off the porch when the woman came to the door

"Allison" she called, making Ali stop and turn "Remember love."

XXXXX

They never made it back to the city.

Ali woke up in a small cell, with no memory of how she got there. Feeling her way around in the intermediate light from a small window, she figured the room was no more than about 5'x6' and about 15' high. There was a cot, where she had woken up, a sink, and a toilet. Not exactly the Ritz. Poor Brenna was nowhere to be found, a thought that was both comforting and troubling.

Before Ali could process what all this might mean, the cell door swung open. The light from the hall was temporarily blinding, causing Ali to turn away from her jailor. His voice brought her back around.

"Have a good sleep honey?" he stepped into the light, smiling at the raw terror on her face.

It was her father. William Anthony Harvelle had been, in the prime of his life, a very attractive man. Powerfully built, but still graceful. The last memory Ali had of her father was the day he died, broken and bleeding, but the man in front of her was flawless. Though her first thought was shapeshifter, Ali quickly discounted that.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded

The man smiled, "I'm your father Allison, don't you recognize me?"

"My father is dead"

The man laughed. Ali wanted it to be an evil sound, something out of nightmares, but it was her father's laugh, open and genuine. It made her skin crawl.

"Where am I?"

"You're where you belong"

"Why are you holding me here?"

"You have something we want, and we will do whatever it takes to get it from you."

"What do you want?"

"You'll find out soon enough"

With that last cryptic remark, he left, closing and locking her door behind him.

XXXXX

Ali had all night to ponder her fate. Was help coming? Would anyone notice she was gone? Were Sam and Dean looking for her? After a sleepless night of worst-case scenarios, Ali decided that her best chance of rescue was for someone to notice Brenna was missing and launching a search. With the life of a hunter, it was highly unlikely anyone would know she was gone until it was much too late.

Her "father" came back some time in the morning with some food, a bowl of runny oatmeal that a generous soul might call breakfast. Ali choked it down, fearing that more might be a long time coming. Her father stayed while she ate, just watching her from the doorway. When she was done eating he gestured her to follow him down the hallway. He lead her into another room, similar to her original cell, but with some frightening extras.

This room was obviously used for interrogation. There was a cot in the corner, but the manacles made it much less cozy. Chains hung from the ceiling and at random intervals on the walls. A smart designer had put a drain in the center of the floor, which sloped slightly downward. The room made Ali's blood run cold. If this was intended to scare her, it worked brilliantly.

"What do you want from me?" She demanded with a bravado she didn't quite believe

"I don't want anything from you, my associate will be along shortly."

Giving her a small push further into the room, he closed the door behind her. The door re-opened a few minutes later, and Ali forced herself to face the man who would be her torturer.

"Hey Ali-bear"

"Oh God" she choked, backing away like the devil himself was before her

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" he asked, smiling

"You're not him"

"Are you really sure?"

"You can't be him"

"You'd be amazed at what's possible if you're willing to do what needs to be done"

"No" she whispered weakly

"Yes" he countered

"You can't be him, you can't be"

"I think we both know that I am"

There was just no way. All the things she had seen and done in her life, this she refused to believe.

"John Winchester is dead"

"Did I say I wasn't dead?" he asked, cocking his head and looking so much like his youngest son that bile rose in the back of her throat.

"What do you want from me?" she whispered

"I want answers Allison" with lightening reflexes he had her in his grip, "and you're going to give them to me one way or another."

His fist struck the side of her face like a brick. It was only a moment before she dropped unconscious into his arms. When she came back around, Ali found herself hanging uncomfortably from the chains in the ceiling.

"If this is your idea of fun, I really underestimated you" she quipped, mind frantically working

"My but you have turned into quite the mouthy little wench" John replied, moving to a hidden compartment in the wall.

It wasn't John, she was sure of that, but she couldn't think of him any other way right now.

"You know, if you ask nicely, I might just tell you what you want to know," she said, trying to balance on her toes.

John turned toward her, a frayed electrical cable in his hands.

"No." He said, advancing "I want you to tell me what you never want me to know."

XXXXX

A few hours later and Ali was thrown back into her original cell. Broken and bleeding, she collapsed on the little cot and gave in to unconsciousness. She had to give points for creativity, electrical cables were an excellent weapon, she might just have to remember that.

Shortly after sunup, her father came back with more runny oatmeal.

"Just tell him what he wants to know and he'll stop hurting you" he said softly, brushing her matted hair from her eyes.

"My father never gave two shits about me, if you were really him you'd know that."

"I always loved you Allison, whatever else you believe, you have to believe that."

Before she could reply, he was out the door, the lock sounding ominous in the sudden quiet. Ali ate what she could, fighting waves of nausea with every bite, knowing that she was going to need all of her strength to make it through today.

XXXXX

John was feeling talkative today. Ali was chained back up to the ceiling, manacles digging painfully into the welts from the day before.

"If you would permit me, I'd like to make an observation." John circled her like a shark

"Doesn't look like I can do anything to stop you just now." Ali jerked her head at the chains

"You're drawn to powerful men but you fear their power." He still circled her "You keep your guard up, a wall around your heart." John pressed his hand over her chest, fingers digging into her collarbone

"Oh please, do tell" she twisted herself out of his grip

Not at all upset, John resumed his pacing, reaching out to touch her as he went.

"How else do you explain your fearless devotion to a man obsessed, and yet you live alone?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me Freud?" If this was a new form of torture, it was working.

"You'd die for Dean but you won't allow yourself to love him."

The sudden shift made her afraid. How much did they know, or suspect? Was this what they were really looking for?

"Love is a dangerous thing, you taught me that Johnny boy"

"You're afraid."  
"Wow. I'm learning a whole other side to you. Not only are you a cold-blooded killer, you're a psychologist too." She had to throw him off, keep him from finding out about his sons.

"Tell me I'm wrong" John moved in front of her, demanding an answer

"You're wrong" she parroted obediently

"Say it like you mean it" He grabbed her face hard in his hands

"You. Are. Wrong." She bit out, fighting the urge to vomit

"Liars go to hell Allison" John danced away now, moving back to the secret compartment

"It's Ali, and I'm not going to hell, you are." Though her stomach dropped to her knees, Ali played brave, thrusting her pain at his mind

"That hurt...I kinda liked it." He turned to her, cable back in his hands "How about you?"

The quick slash was shallow, but it danced across her already enflamed senses.

"Go.To.Hell." She spat, eyes flashing

"There's my fightin' girl. Knew she was in there somewhere dying to come out and play." He grinned, looking more evil than she ever thought possible.

"I am not your girl, 'fightin' or otherwise"

"You will be"

He sounded so certain, so firm, Ali knew that they weren't going to let her go. It was join them, or die.

"Never." Well she had never really been a joiner.

"I know how you feel, forced to be someone you're not. It hurts, doesn't it?" John ran the cable lovingly along her shoulder.

"I thought I told you to go to hell" Ali spat, twisting away from him again

"Losing your family rips out your heart and your guts and your feelings until all that's left is the pain. Right? Hurts to the bone." The cable hit the floor as John pressed his hands over the welts on her skin. "You try to bury the pain, but you can't get the hole deep enough, can you? No matter how much you dig, it's still there. Broken shards stabbing every time you breathe, cutting you up inside." Digging his thumbs into her sides, he smiled when she gasped weakly "You know, there's only one way to make the pain stop. Hurt someone else."

"Alright then" she panted, "maybe I will"

Before he could react, Ali jerked on the chains, drawing her legs up and around his shoulders. Twisting viciously, she flinched when she heard the crunching snap of his neck. Letting his body slump to the floor, Ali thrashed until she felt one of her hands give. Thankfully, all the bleeding she had done had lubricated the manacles, allowing her to slide free.

Once she made it to the hallway, Ali realized her problems were bigger than she thought. The place was a maze of hallways and doors. Everything looked exactly the same. There was no sign of Brenna, and Ali really couldn't leave without her. Before she could decide which way to turn, warm hands came down on her shoulders. Turning to face this new threat, Ali nearly collapsed when she saw his face.

"Dean!" She cried, throwing herself into his arms.

"Shhh" He comforted her gently, "Come with me"

Ali followed, gripping his hand tightly in her own. When he lead her back to her original cell, she stopped, still holding his hand. He tugged gently, urging her to trust him, and she did. Suddenly, using her hand as leverage, he jerked her into the room, slamming the door behind them.

"Dean?" she whispered, suddenly afraid

"You've been a very stubborn little bitch Allison" He replied, tossing his jacket on the floor

"You're not the real Dean, are you?" Ali backed away, bumping into the cot and losing her balance.

"You're very smart you know" he replied conversationally, "You don't ask if I am Dean, you ask if I'm the real Dean"

He struck her hard across the face. Tears temporarily obscuring her vision, she didn't see his intent until it was too late. Already in tatters, her shirt tore free with a jerk of his hands. He pushed her now, pressing his body down to keep her down.

"Do you know what happens to bad girls Allison?" he hissed in her ear, hands pushing at her jeans

"Please" she whimpered, "Don't do this"

There was no escaping him. Even if she wasn't already injured, she was no match for his strength. The only thing she could do was endure it. He didn't bother with preliminaries, he simply forced his way inside her. Ali thought, with all the other pains, this one could go unnoticed. She was wrong. She heaved under him, bucking and fighting to simply get away. With a painful grip he flipped her onto her back, straddling her hips he fought to subdue her. Punching and slapping, blows dull and heavy, there was more blood now. When she stopped moving, he lifted her legs and tore his way back inside her. _Not Dean_ her mind repeated over and over like a mantra, _Not Dean._ As her eyes swelled shut she could block out his face, but his voice crept into her mind, taunting her.

"Such a good little bitch" he panted, thrusting hard and fast "Fuck me so good"

As hard as she tried to stop them, small noises forced their way from her, animal noises, mewling and crying. He seemed to enjoy this, working his way harder inside her, when suddenly he stopped. Ali blinked up at him, knowing he wasn't finished with her just yet. He stood over the bed, appraising the battered body beneath him. Suddenly he flipped her back onto her stomach, forcing her legs wide he shoved hard into her ass. Ali screamed, pain burning like fire up her spine. He worked slowly this time, making her feel every second of it.

It was Earnest fucking Hemmingway, she thought to herself, who said you should pass out from pain, but rarely do. Well it was obvious no one had ever raped him, because if the little dancing spots were any indication, Ali was not going to be able to take much more of this. _Not Dean_, she repeated firmly to herself, _Not Dean. _

Then it was over. He pulled out of her with a sucking pop, smirking as she drew herself painfully into the fetal position.

"I'm going to come back tomorrow," he whispered, pulling his pants back on. "And when I do, you're going to tell me everything, aren't you?"

Ali whimpered, unable to speak.

"That's my girl."

XXXX

**Author's Note: **This chapter kinda sucks. It all sounded so much better inside my head. Any other author, I am sure, has had the same problem, I just couldn't figure out how to fix this. I was supposed to have it to you guys almost two weeks ago, but it was really difficult to write. Going to the dark side may seem like a good idea, but it's really hard to come back from. Let me tell you, trying to write "Dean" raping is REALLY hard, and hell, writing a rape scene is just hard regardless. I promise that the next chapter will be more Sam and Dean centric, but I am not going to give an E.T.A., as I have NO idea how long it might take to write. I will say that I have started it, but this one was really long and the next one might be just as bad. 5,000+ words, what the hell was I thinking? Don't answer that.

**DISCLAIMER:** The Angel of Fire bit was paraphrased from Domino, kinda, because I was already going to call her that…and then I saw the movie. A bit of the last torture scene with John is paraphrased from Angel, because it stuck in my head and wouldn't let go. I don't own it…I just borrowed it…sorry for misusing it…don't sue.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **WARNING FOR GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT AND BLOODY VIOLENCE

XXXXX

**Horseshoes & Hand Grenades**

**Chapter Five**

**Rescue Me**

XXXXX**  
**

**Jacksonville, Florida**

**Six Weeks Later**

Dean checked his phone for the millionth time since she left, still no word from Ali and he was starting to get worried. Even with the way everything ended between them, she was on her own and no one had heard from her.

"Still nothing?" Sam asked, seeing Dean playing with his phone.

"Nothing" he confirmed

"Have you tried calling her?"

"It's going straight to voicemail"

"Have you left any messages?"

"Only about a dozen" Dean snorted humorlessly, "She obviously doesn't want to talk to me."

"Well she's not returning my calls either." Sam said with a shrug

"Yeah but who can blame her for that?" Dean laughed, punching his brother in the shoulder

Before Sam could retaliate, his phone rang. Both men froze for a moment before falling over each other to answer it. Sam grabbed it first, kicking Dean out of the way.

"Hello?"

"Sam, it's Missouri"

Sam would have recognized the voice anywhere, and he felt a small stab of guilt that they hadn't seen the psychic since the incident at their old house.

"Hey Missouri, how are you?"

"I'm just fine honey, but I need your help."

"Of course" Sam replied with no hesitation, "What do you need?"

"A young psychic is missing, and I think she might be in serious trouble."

"Do you have any leads?"

"The last place she was seen is at her mother's plantation in New Orleans."

"Do you have the address?"

As Missouri rattled off the address, Dean tossed their meager possessions back into their duffels. A job is just what he needed to distract him from pining away over Allison.

"Alright" Sam said "We'll call you when we find something."

"So where are we headed?" Dean asked, shouldering one of the bags

"New Orleans" Sam replied, grabbing the other bag.

"Ooh," Dean grinned "I haven't had gumbo in forever"

XXXXX

**New Orleans, Louisiana**

**LaSalle Plantation**

"Wow" Dean muttered, pulling up the driveway, "Talk about your old money."

Sam didn't respond. As they passed through the old iron gates, a shiver ran down his spine. There was power here, old power, and strong power.

Dean killed the engine, taking a moment to admire the old house. He always wanted to have grown up in a big house, miles of yard, trees to climb up and fall out of. What would it have been like to live here?

"Do we just go up and knock?" Sam asked, climbing out of the Impala.

"I suppose they're expecting us."

As they climbed the stairs, a young Creole woman opened the door.

"She's been waiting for you." She said softly, leading them into the parlor.

"Thank you" Sam murmured

She stood at the fireplace with her back to them, seeking answers in the fire.

"So much fear" She said finally, turning to face the brothers, "But so much love as well."

"Ma'am?" Sam questioned

"You both carry it like a shield, the fear, to protect you from the love."

Sam and Dean shared a look; years of experience had them thinking the same thing: Who the hell was this woman, and what did she know?

Crossing the room, she reached out for Dean's hand, which he gave on reflex, not thinking to keep his distance.

"You have a touch of destiny about you," She said, reading his aura more than his palm

"I don't believe in destiny" Dean tried to pull away, but couldn't.

"Yes you do, you just don't know it yet." She released his hand and, shifting quickly, cupped his face. "To find what you seek you must listen"

"Listen?" Dean couldn't look away; the deep amber of her eyes was mesmerizing. "Listen to what?"

Letting go of his face with a sad smile, she moved to sit, gesturing the brothers to do the same. Once everyone was settled, she spoke again.

"You will find what you are looking for"

"What are we looking for?" Sam asked

"You search for many things, and all can be found together."

"Could you vague that up a little more?" Dean muttered, rubbing his hand

"Dean" Sam reprimanded softly

"What?" Dean asked angrily, "We're supposed to find some missing psychic and we get an answer from a fortune cookie."

"Two missing psychics" The woman said softly

"I thought only Brenna was missing" Sam said, confused. "Who else is gone?"

"Ali" Dean answered, not knowing how he knew

Sam shot his brother a sharp look, but he didn't notice, Dean was locked in a silent battle of wits with their hostess, green eyes sharp and calculating.

"They're together aren't they?" He demanded

"Yes"

"Do you know what took them?"

"No"

"Do you know where they are?"

"No"

"Are they alive?"

"Life can be a curse as well as a blessing, believe me when I say that there are far worse things than death in this world."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Dean snarled, finally reaching the end of his patience. "Are they alive, yes or no?"

"Yes"

"Great." Dean stood abruptly, "Come on Sam, we've got to go."

Sam hesitated, he had never seen his brother so close to breaking before.

Dean stalked to the door, "Sam get your ass in the car"

Sam rose to follow his brother, but her hand on his arm gave him pause.

"Be at peace Samuel" She said softly, "The girl of your dreams loved you, really loved you. That's more than most people ever get"

"I know" he whispered, finding himself strangely comforted, "but it isn't enough."

"A lifetime isn't enough for that kind of love"

With a last sad smile, the woman gestured Sam to follow his brother. When she heard the roar of the engine she moved back to the fire, murmuring prayers that the two warriors would find what they were looking for. Everything they were looking for.

XXXXX

Dean cranked the radio, drowning out all hope Sam had of talking about what just happened. They had no direction, no way to find Ali, but Dean drove with a consuming purpose. Somehow he would find her, somehow he would save her.

As they reached the junction for the Highway 55 turnoff, the radio shifted stations. Before either man could react, a new song came on.

Busted flat in Baton Rouge 

_Waiting for a train_

Dean tried to change the station, but all he got was the start of the same song.

Busted flat in Baton Rouge 

_Waiting for a train_

"Dean?" Sam asked, wishing his voice hadn't wavered like that. "Didn't that voodoo lady say you had to listen to find what you were looking for?"

"Yeah"

Dean looked up just in time to see a sign for Baton Rouge. Without a second thought, he changed lanes and merged back onto Highway 10. It was only about 55 miles to the city; they could be there long before dark.

XXXXX

Dean picked the first motel they passed to use as a base of operations. Baton Rouge was a fair sized city, there was no way they could randomly search and find what they were looking for.

With no idea what took the two women, no idea of where to start looking, Dean did something a little shocking. He called for help.

"Missouri, it's Dean." He sighed, "We need…I need your help. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Sam looked up from his laptop, not knowing if he should say anything. Knowing that Ali was missing, but not knowing where to start looking, had them both a little jumpy.

"We'll find her." Dean said quietly, "We have to find her."

"We will." Sam agreed.

"You know" Dean said, pressing his hands to his face, "Your visions have always been a bit freaky."

"Tell me about it."

"I'd give just about anything for you to have one right now."

"Yeah" Sam sighed, "Me too."

Missouri called back that evening, unfortunately she was not able to be of much help.

"Allison is a psychic you say?" She asked Sam

"An empath, yeah."

"Interesting. And did she have a physical relationship with Dean?"

Sam flinched at the thought of having to ask his brother about his relationship with Ali. Though he was pretty sure they had been…intimate, it was not something he really wanted confirmed.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you and Ali sleep together?"

Dean fumbled his coffee cup, spilling most of its contents into his lap.

"What?"

"Missouri needs to know."

"Oh." Dean closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes."

Sam relayed the information to Missouri who seemed pleased. After giving Sam some instructions she asked that they call her when the two girls were found. Now came the hard part. From what Missouri had said, anyone with a physical relationship to someone with powerful psychic abilities, like an empath, would have a bond with them. Her theory was that if Dean concentrated on Allison, really concentrated, he might be able to get an idea of where she was being kept. The last thing Sam wanted was to try and force his brother to have a psychic experience, he knew, if anyone did, that they were far from pleasant.

"What did she say?" Dean leaned forward, anxious to hear what Missouri suggested.

"Ummm" Sam hesitated, not knowing how to broach such a sensitive topic with his volatile brother. "You know how you said you would give anything for me to have a vision about Ali?"

"Yeah."

"Well…"

"Did Missouri tell you how to have a vision? What do you need?"

"She says you can have a vision." Sam blurted, interrupting his brother's excited exclamations.

Dean was speechless. Everything that he expected to go through, everything he was willing to go through, and psychic mojo was the last thing he would have considered to save Ali.

"I…but you…I…"

"Look," Sam guided Dean to the bed, forcing him to sit. "I understand that this is difficult for you to consider, but what choice do we have?"

"That part I understand, I just don't see why it has to be me."

"Missouri says that when a powerful psychic is…intimate with someone, it creates a powerful bond."

"That can't…" Dean trailed off, remembering Ali's initial hesitation at getting involved with him. She would have known, or at least suspected that something like that was possible.

Sam waited, seeing the struggle on his brother's face. When Dean finally looked up at his brother he was resigned. This was the only thing they had; there was just no other choice.

XXXXX

Dean lay on his back trying very hard not to think about how ridiculous this whole idea was. Dean didn't have a drop of psychic blood in his body, but here he was, trying to have a vision about a woman he thought he just might love. Love. That was enough to fry his concentration right there. The Winchesters didn't have the best track record with love, himself included.

Dean sighed, trying to bring his focus back to Ali. Missouri had suggested that he concentrate on some triggers, specific things that might help him connect with Ali. Dean took a deep breath and remembered how she always seemed to smell like vanilla and cinnamon, but her hair smelled like coconut. He closed his eyes and tried to picture her in his mind, like how, when she smiled it always kissed her eyes. The way she treated Sam, like the little brother she always wanted, even though she and Sam were the same age.

God, he's involved with a woman the same age as his baby brother.

Thoughts like that were not helping. Dean forced his mind back to a catalogue of all things Ali. For nearly an hour Dean re-created Ali in his mind, going over every moment of their limited time together. Soon he had an almost three-dimensional image in his head, a collage of all the things he labeled in his head as being _Ali._

Just when Dean was getting frustrated, the image shifted. Suddenly he wasn't looking at his version of Ali, but the real thing. The images were chaotic, fractured, but it gave him enough to realize where she was being kept.

"Sam!" Dean shouted, knowing his brother was waiting on the other side of the door.

Sam burst in; gun at the ready, quickly realizing that there was no one there but the two of them.

"What did you see?"

"I know where to find her."

Sam never hesitated, never questioned that his brother was absolutely certain, he just grabbed the duffle bags and smiled.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?"

XXXXX

She could still hear his voice in her head telling her that all she had to do was give in, tell him what he wanted to know and all the pain would stop. Weeks of torture, endless days at the mercy of a true sadist, if she gave in now it would all have been for nothing. No. She would protect them with her life, her body was such a small sacrifice compared to that.

She had been so sure for a moment she had felt the touch of the real Dean that her body responded, but that was impossible. Her abilities didn't work that way, and Dean was practically a null. Being in this place was driving her mad. Every day she fought harder and harder to hold on to the pieces of herself, fought not to give in to the darkness. She hadn't seen anyone but Not Dean since their first…encounter. Food was shoved through a slot in the door once a day, and he came every night. If that wasn't enough to drive someone to madness, nothing was. God she just wanted this to end. One way or another, this had to end.

XXXXX

It wasn't going to be easy. Dean had figured out that Ali was being held in an old abandoned prison just outside the city, but with no idea of what they were up against, they were going in blind. Sam looked up the blueprints for the building before they left, only one wing of the building was still intact, but that still left four floors and fifty-six cells to be checked. They were so screwed.

Dean parked as close to the building as he dared. If Ali was badly hurt they wanted to be able to get her away from here as fast as possible. It's funny. Both Winchesters knew that Brenna LaSalle was also missing, but they didn't give her more than a passing thought. Family comes first, and somewhere along the line Allison Harvelle became their family.

Popping the trunk both men loaded up with all the weapons they could carry. Silver, lead, rock salt and holy water were their only defense against the unknown. Almost as an afterthought Dean strapped his favorite knife to his thigh. Sam was silent, knowing his brother was seconds away from going on a rampage. If necessary Dean would kill with his bare hands and damn the consequences.

They slipped through a torn portion of the fence, running silently across the courtyard. So far so good. The door was padlocked shut, but Sam had prepared for this. Bolt cutters in hand he quickly cut through the rusted metal. They moved quietly, flanking each other with a practiced grace. Sam was on point, having memorized as much of the blueprints as possible, he maneuvered the corridors with ease. Reaching the cellblock they were looking for, Dean took the lead. That's when everything got a little more difficult. This was the solitary confinement block, if they wanted to see inside they either had to open the door or look through the food gate on the floor. There was no way they could risk opening any doors until they found what they were looking for, so Sam was reduced to flopping around on, what he called, the dirtiest floor known to man. They had agreed to start at the top floor, nothing. Down to the third and still nothing. No sign of Ali, Brenna, or what they were up against. With each cell Sam cleared Dean felt his body tighten. What if he was wrong, what if she wasn't here?

The second floor was clear, there was no sign of Ali. As they reached the main level, Sam grabbed his brother.

"She's here Dean, I know it."

Dean nodded; appreciating the sentiment even if he thought it was a lie. As they started down the main level they realized that someone had indeed been here recently. There was a scent on the air, fresh blood and something flat and stale. Something that smelled like despair. The brother's moved faster, adrenaline pushing them both to their peak.

XXXXX

Oh God it was time again. She could hear him in the hallway, the steady purposeful stride. Please just let him kill her, let this time be the last. Keys jangled merrily before sliding into the lock, the ominous click of the latch echoing in the silence. As he stepped into her cell her body tightened, fear danced across her body like sheet lightening.

"Hello love" he drawled, shutting the door behind himself and sending the cell back into darkness.

"I'm not your love" she replied as always, but the fight had gone out of her voice many days before this.

Not Dean smiled, a sardonic twist of his lips, he knew he was winning, knew it was only a matter of time before she cracked. That she had lasted this long was a thorn in his side, but no one could hold out forever, not even Allison.

There were no preliminaries, no more questions, he simply strode across the room and grabbed her arms. He tore her clothes this time, leaving her nothing to cover herself when he was done. She fought as much as her feeble strength would allow, but it was hopeless. She couldn't stand against him on her best day, and it was long past that. As he maneuvered her long legs into a position he preferred, they heard a sound. A shuffle down the hallway, not quite the sound of footsteps, but intrusive nonetheless. Looking down at the captive woman below him, Not Dean made his first mistake; he assumed his…associates would take care of it.

Not Dean never paused after that; he was too determined to break his captive. He decided many weeks previous that sodomizing Allison was the most effective method of breaking down her resistance. It didn't seem to matter though, how many times he took her, without the aid of lubrication it always hurt. This time was no different, having not left her any time to recover from his last visit less then twelve hours earlier, but this time she was numb.

Her body had finally, mercifully, shut down, leaving her hovering on the edge of catatonia. Ali knew though, knew that this was only temporary relief. Pain waited on the periphery, danced in close and taunted her with what it would do later, and it was going to be everywhere inside, in each extremity of each digit, firing off in every nerve. Pain was hovering around her like a vulture. Waiting.

XXXXX

The Winchesters froze; they could hear footsteps coming down the hall. Dean pressed back hard against Sam, willing them to melt into the wall and go unseen. Dean shouldered the shotgun and braced himself for the inevitable. Neither brother could have been prepared for what came around the corner.

"Long time no see Sam."

Jessica Moore had been a beautiful woman in life and this imitation of her was no different. Imitation. Somehow Sam had no doubt in his mind that this was not his Jessica, and strangely it lifted a weight from his shoulders, knowing that he had finally let go.

"You're not her." Sam slid out from behind his brother, pressing a warning hand to Dean's chest as he passed.

"What are you going to do Sam? Kill me?"

"Yes" his voice held no hesitation, no sympathy.

"You're going to kill the woman you love?"

"You're not her."

"Maybe not, but my death will feel as real, the nightmares will make it real."

As she reached out a manicured hand, moving to brush a wayward curl of his hair, Sam fired the shotgun Dean had just tossed into his hands. The blast took her clean in the chest throwing her body back into the wall. Sam was stunned, he never expected her to be corporeal, but when she stood like it had been nothing he began to worry. Drawing the machete from the sheath at his hip Sam turned to his brother.

"You can save her Dean, trust your instincts."

"What about you?" Dean hesitated, wanting to go to Ali but unwilling to leave his brother

"I've got this."

Dean hesitated for a second longer before clasping a hand to his brother's shoulder and setting off down the hallway at a run. With their enemies knowing they were here, Dean felt no need for keeping his presence unknown

"Ali!" He shouted, never slowing his pace. "Ali!"

A scream echoed down the long corridor. Dean sped up, following the fading echo to the last door. The door was solid steel so Dean dropped to his knees and pulled out his lock kit. Picking the lock seemed to take forever. Shoving the door wide, Dean received the biggest shock of his life. There, bent over the body of the woman he loved, was…him?

XXXXX

Not Dean was stunned, caught mid-thrust he fumbled before pulling back to face his double. The two men circled each other warily for a moment before Dean pulled his machete and swung a wide arc. Blood spattered across Ali's face, drawing her back into something that resembled consciousness. Dean kept swinging; rage pushing him faster and faster. Not Dean had no weapon, no defense, all he could do was bleed…and Dean made sure he bled. The slices got deeper, wilder, less controlled as Dean hacked his doppelganger apart.

"Dean?"

His head whipped around, her voice sounded so tentative, unsure, not at all like the voice he remembered in his dreams. Looking down at the mangled flesh in front of him Dean realized what he had done and felt nothing. He dropped the machete and crossed to look at Ali for the first time in what felt like forever. Bruises marred her flesh, welts and abrasions covered most of what he could see, but what broke his heart was the way she just lay there, exposed and bleeding, looking already dead.

"Dean!" Sam's powerful voice echoed down the hall.

"Get out Sam!" Dean shouted back, not wanting his brother to see the horrors of this cell. "I'm right behind you man, just get to the car."

Dean waited until he heard his brother's footsteps receding before looking around for something to wrap Ali in so he could take her out of here without Sam knowing anything more than he needed to. There were some things a person never recovered from, some things that dug in deep and settled into the soul. Dean was deathly afraid this was going to be one of those things…for both of them.

XXXXX

They stepped out into the light like a blood-soaked Adam and his battered Eve, weighed heavy by the knowledge of good...and evil, stripped violently from paradise and into the harsh cruelty of reality.

Dean had wrapped Ali in a blanket and his jacket, carrying her gently in his arms. Sam flinched when he met her eyes. Her dull, lifeless gaze was unnerving, the dispassionate stare held nothing of her usual spark. It hurt to see her so broken, so utterly wasted by whatever had happened here.

"Sam?" Dean's voice snapped him out of his daze, "Yeah Dean?"

"The keys are in my left pocket." Dean shifted Ali a little higher to give Sam access to his pockets.

"Huh?"

"Can you drive?"

"Oh, sure." Sam fished out the keys, careful not to touch his brother's delicate burden.

Dean slid into the backseat with Ali still in his arms. With everything he had seen, he wasn't sure that she wanted to be this close to him, but he just couldn't bear to let her go. Just having her in his arms, warm and alive, was enough for now. There would be time for everything else, God willing; there would still be time.

XXXXX

**Author's Note:** Well this was a BITCH to write!! Sorry that it took so long, but I found myself fighting with how the Winchester's were going to come to the rescue. I'm pretty sure I made up the old abandoned prison…but it was what I visualized in my head. If such a place actually exists…I picked it on purpose. :P This story is turning out to be a helluva lot longer and more convoluted than I had originally intended, but please bear with me while I try and sort it all out. This is the last update for a while as I am about to go to Europe for 7 weeks…but I will be trying to update more often when I get back. Look for Chapter 6 – I Am Come Home…coming soon to a computer screen near you! (Could I BE a bigger dork? Nah)

P.S. – I WILL be explaining what the big bad was…I think…yeah…maybe chapter six…maybe.


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